5/31/2007

My Hope For The Near Future...

I hope that one day we will devote as much effort to finding solutions to the current energy crisis as we do to developing a better toothbrush.

I mean, fuckin' a, it seems like there's a fucking technological breakthrough in toothbrush design every goddamn week. What more can they possibly do? How about taking some of the scientists working on toothbrush innovation and putting them to work on alternatives to fossil fuel. Either that, or figure out a way to harness the power of the toothbrush in such a way that it gets me to and from work each day.

8 comments:

Skylers Dad said...

I know a guy who works in sales for Colgate. He says sales in the Dental industry is the most hyper-competitive in the world. Most people get out after about 3 years.

genn6 said...

You're a riot...did someone piss in your gas tank today my friend?

Flannery Alden said...

For real! Also they could gather the hair dryer researchers and that Dyson guy. Oh and men's razor developers.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Shit, Flannery beat me to the disposable razor technology comment. How many blades can they possibly fit in a razor, do you think? Where will it end? Will they come to their senses somewhere around 9 blades, or will it just keep going ad infinitum?

GETkristiLOVE said...

On the opposing side, after my dentist appointment a couple of weeks ago, I was given these cool rubber-like, toothpicks that have little hair-like things on them. They actually feel good when you stick them between your teeth to floss. I mean, how long has it been that someone hasn't invented a better way to floss than yanking out a mess of waxed string, and painstakingly teeter-totering back and forth along every crack?

Big Orange (a.k.a. "Uncle Moonpie") said...

actually, they HAVE a 12-bladed razor already. It's expensive but you only have to use it once: it shaves you down to the dermis so you never have to deal with hair folicles again. Just don't use after shave right after using it; burns like a motherfucker. Oh, and you might want to check into a skin graft, but WHAT a close shave!!!

As for toothbrushes, I think a much BETTER idea would be to genetically alter a type of bacterea that eats plaque. Rinse with it once a day and the bugs eat all the crap off your teeth and then toothbrushes become obsolete!! Then, no more competition and the researchers will HAVE to find something else to do!! (Flann-- I borrowed this idea from Oryx and Crake, THE best book of the decade, thankee)

Megan said...

Check it out: my sister's boyfriend is a men's razor blade developer. For real. Free razor blades for life!

Coaster Punchman said...

I've been pondering this question for a while now. Thanks for bringing it to the forefront.