5/17/2007

How To Eat A Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll...

When I was younger, my mom would provide us with Little Debbie-brand snacks: Nutty Bars, Star Crunches, Oatmeal Cremes, and Swiss Cake Rolls. Swiss Cake Rolls were the poor man's Ho-Hos. I would hate to contemplate how many of these bad-boys I consumed during my formative years. I always ate them the same way:
  • First, turn the roll upside-down. You'll find a flattened-out part where the roll was on the conveyor. You'll notice a little ridge of chocolate on the underside (red arrow).
  • Gently bite into the ridge and peel away the chocolate frosting from the cake. If you are skilled you can remove the chocolate layer in one continuous piece.
  • Eat outer chocolate.
  • You now have the cake part with the creme filling. At this point I would begin to unroll the remainder like a sleeping bag, pulling at the end by the blue arrow.
  • During the unrolling process, the cake part will most likely break apart at the point designated by the yellow arrow. Don't get discouraged. Eat this chunk of cake and creme.
  • You are left with a cylinder of cake and creme. Eat it.
  • You're done! Now wash your hands, turn off the TV, and go play outside. You've been inside long enough and it's a beautiful day.

16 comments:

Big Orange said...

great googly moogly, I don't have the patience for that, son!!

Spooney said...

I understand.
I have always eaten a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup by eating the ridges around the outside first. I don't even think about it, I just do it.
I also used to save the meatballs in spaghettios for the end - same thing with C'ptn Crunch Cerries & Lucky Charms, but I think a lot of kids did that.

vikkitikkitavi said...

You don't have to tell me how to eat a Little Debbie ANYTHING. We were too poor to buy Hostess treats, so it was all Little Debbie, all the time when I was a kid.

Favorite LD snack: Nutty Bars
Least Favorite: Marshmallow Pies

Spooney said...

We didn't have Little Debbie where I grew up in MA. I remember seeing adds for them during Charlie Brown specials & wanting them. I didn't know they were ghetto Hostess.

Skylers Dad said...

We were poor.

I had to eat mud off of a stick instead of pop sickles.

But we were happy dammit!!

lulu said...

My mom didn't let us have stuff like that when we were kids. We had cookies made with wheat germ and crap like that. damn hippies.

Anon. Blogger said...

Hey, Spooney was a great kid.

I have always had to threaten my kids that there would be no more Lucky Charms if the wouldn't eat the 'brown parts'. I kept finding boxes of LC's in the pantry that I was told were 'no good' because every damn marshmallow was gone!

I had a special technique for eating Ice Cream Sangwiches, tho.

twiffer said...

mmmm...star crunch. those things were awesome.

Elizabeth said...

I love Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls and I eat them just like you do. Do you have yours with a tall glass of milk? That's the best.

Phil said...

Did you perfect this technique in HS, cause I kinda remember you doing this.

The Boob Lady said...

Holy shit, that's EXACTLY how I eat mine! You're a genius Chris.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Yeah, what my sister said. I loved the banana thingys, but she always stole them from me when she was mad at me.

Marni said...

That is the EXACT way I ate them, too!

Chris said...

BO- I bet you do.

Spooney- I'm guessing we all have little eating quirks like this.

Vikki- We never had the marshmallow pies. I doubt I'd like them.

Spooney- I think you're thinging of Dolly Madison. They made Zingers and had Peanuts as their "mascots".

S.D.- Nothing like mud on a stick!

Lulu- Poor thing!

Anon- You may need to do a post about that - with video.

Twiffer- Welcome! I've eaten my share of those, too.

Elizabeth- Milk? That's a little to healthy for me.

Phil- I perfected it in grade school, but continued to maintain a high level of skill at it thru high school.

Boob Lady & Marni- We should form a club!

GKL- How could she possibly be mad at you?

Doc said...

We didn't have snack anything at my house. Our idea of snacks was swiping unrippened field corn from the neighbors field. If you catch it young enough, you can almost make believe it is just under- cooked sweet corn.

Ah, good times.

Doc

Al Sensu said...

Little Debbie? You poor white trash boy! It was Hostess and Drakes for me!