Another Kick-Ass Invention...

Scented Duct Tape

I don't need to belabor the fact that duct tape is useful for any number of things. We all know it. I know when I need to buy more, I grab the first roll I see at the hardware store, assuming they're all pretty much the same. However, for a few cents more, I'd buy scented duct tape.

I learned from my duvet cover post that it's probably an uphill battle trying to get men excited about buying bedding. I don't think I'll have the same struggle with scented duct tape. The trick is to come up with the fragrances men will appreciate. Here are a few to consider:
  • Bacon (obviously)
  • WD-40
  • Beer
  • Sawdust
  • Polyurethane (Satin or High Gloss)
  • Mown grass
  • Bourbon
  • Pistachio
  • Female crotch
Now, you're probably wondering, "Did I read that right? I can't believe it! Did he REALLY say pistachio? Pistachios don't really have a smell, do they?"

Maybe not, but fuck, it's just a goofy blog post. Nothing to get worked up about.


Frank Sirmarco said...

Other scents:

Baked Beans
The Beach
Duct Tape (or Original Scent)
Baked Potato

SkylersDad said...


By the way, that roll has the label of Duck inside it, everyone knows it's Duct...

I smell a conspiracy - but maybe it's Female crotch, I'm a little clogged myself today.

Moderator said...

Two things - not all duct tape is created equal. I use duct tape for foot warts (no joke, sadly) and only certain brands actually stick to the bottom of a sweaty, human foot.

Secondly, two scents that always get my attention: Scotch whiskey and cotton candy. Yum.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Then of course they'll come out with some lame-ass "Duct Tape for Women," and we'll get stuck with the usual scent suspects, like lavender and potpourri. I fucking HATE potpourri!

And I can't believe you didn't mention bratwurst-scented duct tape. You know, for when you need to duct-tape your hibachi to your bumper whilst tail-gating.

The Boob Lady said...

I'd also make one that smelled like Black Magic Markers.

Don't even try to tell me you don't smell them.

Johnny Yen said...

Suggestion: replace pistachios with Beernuts.

RE: the duvet-- when you marry, it's like being a parent or a teacher-- you choose your battles. Since 99% of my use of a duvet is when I am asleep, I am more than willing to let my wife have her way on this.

Just as long as she keeps out of my kitchen.

Joe said...

I'll add cigar smoke and fired gunpowder. And barbecue.

Jenny Jenny Flannery said...

Add engine exhaust, modeling glue, and leather.

Unclejbird said...

latex paint....

motor oil...

fermenting beer...

Rice Krispie Treats

Tenacious S said...

God bless duct tape. It held together his friend's car for quite some time. Who invented it? Genius!