There Are Very Few Things I Find It Hard To Joke About...

The ongoing oil leak is one of them.

Ignoring for now the debate over whether we should be drilling for oil offshore at all, I'm going to accept the fact that it's happening and will likely continue for the foreseeable future. I'd like someone to explain to me how it is not grossly criminally negligent for the drilling company to NOT have a safeguard in place, ready to deploy at a moment's notice, when engaging in a practice as potentially risky as offshore drilling. To me, it seems pretty obvious. If you are going to drill for oil in the middle of the ocean, clearly the worst-case scenario would be some sort of failure that results in both loss of human life and a catastrophic breach of the oil line. Since the second part of this worst-case has such profound impact on so many things, why is it wrong to expect any company doing this sort of drilling to provide proof that they have a mechanism that has been subjected to rigorous testing that will immediately stop a leak? To think that, at this point, people still don't have a clue how to make this shit stop makes me fucking sick. And for those who would say I'm just some freedom-hating hippie liberal for demanding the strictest regulations and oversight possible, go fuck yourselves.


Next Stop, Lord Stanley...

Some Guy's Blog salutes the mighty mighty Chicago Blackhawks on their sweep of the San Jose Sharks in the Western Conference finals.



I was just sitting here and the word
popped into my head.
I'm wondering,
"What the hell is Gerbert?"
"Where do I know that word from?"
Turns out it was some
CBN children's show
from the early Nineties.
I'm sure I didn't watch it,
but it must've seeped into
my subconscious somehow.
Probably because Gerbert's head
looked kinda like
a three-cheeked ass.


You're Gonna Think I'm Shitting You...

I got my very first cell phone today.

I have mixed feelings.
Clearly there are benefits,
but I always took pride in
being able to resist for so long.

Edited to add:
Megan, who got an iPhone today,
snapped this incredibly flattering photo
of me acquainting myself with
my new phone.
It makes me laugh:


Two Johns...

John Updike

John Upside-Downdike


The Marmaduke Movie Will Be Out Soon!!!!!...


I'm talking fucking Marmaduke, ya'll!
He on a surfboard, for Pete's sake!
And look!
He's wearing fucking sunglasses!

Goddamn, it's gonna be so fucking good.


My New Rule Of Thumb...

If you preach frequently about the evils of homosexuality
and you write books about how it's a "disease"
and you endorse programs to try and "cure" it
and you look like this guy,
I'm just gonna go ahead and assume you're gay.
Y'know, for the sake of expediency.



15 seconds of stupidity, coming up!


Documentary Film Of The Day: Note By Note: The Making Of Steinway L1037...

I used to love it on Mister Rogers or Sesame Street when they'd show assembly lines where things like candy were being made. I once got to tour the Andersen window plant to see an assembly line in person. I have this thing for watching shit get made. That's one reason I thought this movie was cool as hell - an assembly line in super slo-mo! I also happen to love piano music. It might be my favorite instrument. I'm a big fan of people like Art Tatum and Oscar Peterson and Fats, both Waller and Domino.

This movie follows the year-long process of making a Steinway grand piano. I like how it was shot and how they interspersed famous pianists visiting Steinway to select the right piano for their performances. It was also cool to see how diverse the Steinway employees are.

The film's website provides a lot of great additional information, including how to order copies. Check it out HERE.

Netflix it HERE.

Edited to add: Welcome to all my visitors from Crooks & Liars! There are some lame attempts at political humor below.