Fun Things To Do In Boyne City, Michigan...

I am always trying to boost the tourism of Northern Michigan, especially Boyne City. Here are a few suggestions to help you plan your next trip:

- You could test the bearing capacity of the ice on Lake Charlevoix like this guy did with his brand new snowmobile:
Or this guy and his ice-fishing shanty:
Chances are, it'll get you on the local news.

-In the spring, we have the Boyne City Mushroom Festival. Yeah, it's not THOSE kinds of mushrooms, unfortunately, although I think whoever is wearing this get-up might have to ingest a few before putting it on:
Reminds me of the Ween classic, "Mushroom Festival In Hell". Great tune. Sad costume.

- You can also bear witness to the time-honored tradition of fudgemaking (just like every other tourist up here). Check it out. Quite a log this guy's working on, huh?
Do not get this confused with the fudgePACKING demonstrations. Those are just plain depressing.

-Finally, cap off your visit with a tour of the nearby East Jordan Iron Works. Haven't you ever wondered where all those great fire hydrants and manhole covers come from? I knew you did! Now's your chance to find out.
Wow, red AND yellow! What will they think of next!?

See, who needs Disney World? Fuck those fuckers and come to God's Country instead!


Anonymous said...

aren't fireplugs and manhole covers made of STEEL? doesn't iron RUST? Why are they called "ironworks"??

Phil said...

But what about that sasquage I hear is eating tourists?

Jenny Jenny Flannery said...

Mushroom Guy is pure nightmare fodder.

BTW: Just how many fudgepacking demonstrations have you attended?

Dale said...

The costumed guy looks like a very lonely peanut.

Megan said...

Wow, Chris, Boyne City really DOES sound awesome. You left out the part about the ocean, though.

Zed said...

You know, it's really ironic, Chris,
but just 10 minutes ago turned to my cats, Frankie & Johnny, and asked, "So where do all those great fire hydrants and manhole covers come from? Do you know?"

And they just stared at me blankly, and Johnny licked his lips a bit. Frankie let out a low meow. They know something, but they're not sharing.

Teri said...

how do you contain all the excitement from living in such a place?

and you keep insisting that nothing good happens there. Liar!

lulu said...

If I didn't know better, I would think that you were trying to impress someone.

Moderator said...

What do they do with all that fudge after it's made? Do they pack it really tightly into boxes and send it away? Just curious. Very curious.