7/02/2007

What's A Guy Gotta Do To Get A Drink Around Here?...

After mowing the lawn the other day, I was feeling thirsty so I headed over to one of the local bars in town. I asked the bartender for a tankard of mead. I told him I'd prefer an Omphacomel, but that I'd have a Metheglin or a Sack Mead if that's all they had.

The guy, like, looks at me like I'm fucking crazy. He starts laughing at me. Now, it coulda been because I was wearing my "I'm with stupid" chainmail, but I was getting annoyed. I wanted my damn drink. He kept laughing and pointing. I'm not a violent person, as you well know, but he just pushed it too far, so I brained him with my mace.

9 comments:

cheer34 said...

I would have cut his head off with my brawny sword.

'Bubbles' said...

Some Guy, perhaps some intervention is in order. I mean, when you brain a guy with your mace over your first mead of the day... could be a sign of a problem.

Think about it.

vikkitikkitavi said...

I smell a blockbuster!

Zed said...

I hope you sharpened the points on the mace. You can't brain a bartender with a dull mace, everyone knows that.

Dick Small said...

You did FINE, Chris. I'm SO proud of you.

Skylers Dad said...

bartenders don't really get it. You have to order from the grog wench to get good service

Phil said...

Wow. You were thirsty.

Flannery Alden said...

This is one of the funniest things I've ever read. I mean it...Well played, old bean.

Writeprocrastinator said...

To wit, you should have said "vile knave! I will have a flagon of mead or I will smite thee, thusly!"

The cue to take broadsword or morningstar and smash the bar like Tanya Harding does to a boyfriend that makes a comment about her weight.