7/06/2007

A Menace...

When I was in grade school, I used to walk to school every day. One of the families along my route had adopted a baby seal through one of those anti-cruelty organizations. Rather than be grateful for the opportunity these people had given him, this seal was bitter and hostile and, for some reason, he took it out on me. Just look at that cold, black stare. He used to wait for me each day on my way to school and throw sticks and dirt clods at me and say really awful things about my mom. On the way home, he used to steal my lunchbox and fill it with herring guts. He made my life a living hell.

Turns out, I got the last laugh. While I was back in Chicago, I heard from a friend that he's working at an Arby's and has a really hateful wife and he put on, like, a ton of weight. Sweet karma...

7 comments:

Skylers Dad said...

I've lost all respect for Chris, letting a seal make you his bitch...

Skylers Dad said...

By the way, if I ever get into the car dealer biz, my slogan would be:

I'd club a seal for a deal!

He he he, not really...

Dick Small said...

How could anyone not like Chris?! That's just plain stupid!

Zed said...

I think perhaps you've had one too many mead, Chris.

Big Orange said...

Bastard. Same thing happened to me, but it was a cow adopted by one of those uber-vegan families. She had been caged up most of her life and milked 20 times a day or something. by the time she got to my street she had nose and ear piercings and tattoos all over her. She was a total bitch and I hope someone ate her ass for dinner.

Amy said...

Seals are assholes.

cheer34 said...

How can something that cute be that mean. Just goes to show you, never judge a book by it's cover