We all have secrets we keep to ourselves. Well actually, I don't, but the rest of you do. The students in grade three of Thorpe School back in '46-'47 most certainly do. Here they are starting in the upper left:
- Had dreamed of being an astronaut rather than a schoolteacher, which is odd since NASA wasn't established until 1958.
- Once took a leak in the washroom soap dispenser.
- Saw mommy, daddy, and her neighbor, Mr. Johnson, in the attic playing "Hide the garden hose".
- Thinks Truman is a "punk".
- Enjoys what she calls "Booger Time" once a day.
- Big ol' pothead.
- Hasn't had a bath in eight months.
- Secretly likes receiving "wedgies".
- Has the power of telekinesis.
- Plays with her imaginary pet pig, Reginald.
- Doesn't really like smiling, but is doing it so the damn photographer will get off his case.
- Is actually a cyborg from the future.
- Has a problem with Portuguese people.
- Still wears rubber underwear.
- Too many secrets to list.
- Is jealous of the teacher for spending so much time with her secret beau, the "wedgie-lover".
- Was confused as to what a "secret" was.
- Performs pagan rituals while the rest of them are at Sunday School.
- Worries that the U.S. has lost its "moral compass".
- Can't wait to play football after school, but anyone who knows him knows that's no secret.
- Is the largest single donor to the "Booger Time" girl.
- Brushes his teeth with lard.
- Can't stand it when people say "yoodle hoodle" to get his attention.
- Is deathly afraid of earwax.
- Discovered the recipe for an eternal life elixir - two parts pickle juice, one part Listerine.
*Disclaimer: This is all bullshit. In case you were in this class and you stumble upon this post, this is all for the sake of humor and no offense was intended.
2 comments:
I didn't realize you were that old. You've held up well, Chris.
Thank God you added the disclaimer! Don't want trouble from the old folks!
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