7/09/2007

You Be The Judge...

Back in high school, I was involved in a few of the drama productions. I was a terrible actor and couldn't sing for shit, but a bunch of my friends were into it, so it was an opportunity to spend school nights with them with minimal adult supervision. This lack of supervision led to a certain amount of mischief-making which included swirlies. For those of you who have lived a sheltered life, a swirlie is where a bunch of people grab someone, force their head into a toilet, and flush it. The ones we gave were always in a "clean" toilet. We all got one at one point. It was sort of a rite of passage.

There was one kid, a real dorkus, who, after receiving his, squealed to the teacher/director. The teacher informed us that swirlies were forbidden. He then claimed that, in his opinion, a swirlie was as bad as rape. I wonder if there are any rape victims out there that wouldn't have rather had their head briefly soaked with toilet water.

15 comments:

Big Orange said...

I don't know about rape, but I WAS pity-fucked once, and I far prefer THAT to a swirlie.

Frankly, I'd rather have my head stuffed into a DIRTY toilet than have someone I didn't know or even like shove their donger up my bum.

cheer34 said...

How nice of you to make sure the toilet was clean. That is true friendship.

Johnny Yen said...

What was the teacher's position on wedgies?

Bubs said...

I'm sorry, the whole toilet-water thing is just...disturbing to me. I never gave, or received, a swirlie. Thank God.

Valerie said...

was it Joe that squealed?

and I'm so glad the girls in Drama didn't do that to each other.

Spooney said...

Back in high school "at band camp" a couple guys got chocolate pudding wedgies for initiation. I think they were raped...with pudding.

Tenacious S said...

I wonder how high the danger of an E. coli infection is from that stunt? Now, if that happened, it would be a closer contest. Otherwise it's just gross.

Skylers Dad said...

Never gave or received a swirly, but it just cannot even be compared to rape for christs sake!

I once had a wedgie tho that shoved the boys so far into my body cavity I thought they would never return...

Flannery Alden said...

I just like the word swirlie. Is that wrong?

Geo said...

As one of those who faced The Inquisition (altho I only observed, not performed, said swirlies), I still think relating it to rape was a stretch.

It's like in the first Die Hard where Deputy Dwayne T. Robinson says "that's like pullin' the trigger yourself!"

Phil said...

Not so much of a pacifist back then, huh?

Grant Miller said...

I always managed to neither give nor receive a swirlie. I hope it stays that way.

Spooney said...

There used to be a Boston band back in the 90s called The Swirlies. Good name.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Swirlie, Noogie, and Wedgie - why do they have to all sound so cutie?

Dave said...

Over on the wrestling team we got our repressed stuff out on the mat. No need for swirlies.