12/19/2006

You Asked For It...

Reasons I'm an ass:
  • I haven't spoken to my brother since August out of sheer stubborness.
  • I watch horrible TV shows when I could be doing something constructive.
  • I bitch about politics and injustice and don't really do jack shit about it.
  • I over-analyze women's intentions to the point that I drive myself crazy.
  • I tell people how powerful forgiveness can be, then don't practice it myself.
  • I don't always speak up when I should.
  • I have a dead Pine in my yard that has been dead forever and I refuse to cut the fucker down, even though it looks awful.
  • I pay bills late and get charged a fee, even when I have the money and no good reason why I can't pay them on time.
  • I let myself get worked up about things of no consequence.
Ahhhh... Sweet catharsis. There's plenty more. Feel free to add a few.

Oh, please, no pity. I'm not ashamed of this stuff. It's part of the package. Someday I'll get it under control.

17 comments:

dirty said...

Wow...you are a total ass...

and so am I.

Phil said...

Take is easy on yourself, weren't you just TIME Man Of The Year.

Teri said...

the part about the women....we do the exact same thing. I think it's human nature.

we definitely need to practice what we preach.....

call your brother, you ass! if something happened to him tomorrow, like death, you wouldn't forgive yourself.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Do NOT call your brother!!

Years from now, when you are old and your brother is long gone, you will be glad as hell you made your point by not talking to him.

Sans Pantaloons said...

I have a to-do list that goes back to 1976.

In fact many of the things on that to-do list are now obsolete, so even if got the giraffe out of my ass, I couldn't do them.
Mahatma Gandhi probably didn't have a giraffe or a rhinoceros to pull out, but he was right.

We somewhat control our destiny.

Valerie said...

That's a nice picture of your ass. You've gained some weight since high school.

Amy said...

What Dirty said...

Big Orange said...

at first I thought I was supposed to look at the hippo's vag, not ass. I may have to gack this one for a slow meme day...

Not that I try that damned hard to fix MY faults, neither.

The Boob Lady said...

Seriously, I offered to marry you. You have not responded. I'm done. You ruined Christmas..

*Cough*

lulu said...

Call your brother. Life is precious and fragile, and you never know when it will end.

Chris said...

For those of you that commented about my brother, I'll see him in a few days for Christmas. There's a lot of info regarding the situation you don't have, but I appreciate your concern.

dirty said...

Why aren't your proposing to the Boob Lady you ass, you?

Flannery Alden said...

We share many of the same faults, Chris. I'm with BO, this would make a good tag item: Why am I an ass?

I tag myself.

dirty said...

Good idea Flannery...I'm a total ass.

Big Orange said...

Chris, chris, chris. The Boob Lady has a GREAT RACK (or so she say, I'm waiting on emprical proof, like any good Freethinker would) and you ruin't her Christmas. You ARE a total ass...

Course, great rack or not, you might be on to something. Flann has a great rack, too, but I was too much of an ass for her to marry ME, which turned out to be the Right Idea-- if we DID get married I would've driven her fuckin' CRAY-ZEE within a year. Mebbe y'all n' the Boob Lady need to be Friends With Benefits??

Just sayin...

Big Orange said...

Flann-- anyone who freely listens to ME babble my ass off all day long ain't no ass. I'm willin' to forgive your intermittent fits of binary opinions in return for you telling me how goddamn smart I am.

genn6 said...

I agree with BO and Flann - this would make a great tag.

You are an ass....but since you're human, you're allowed to have real faults. The ass is in all of us. Which is why it would make a great tag.