One of the challenges that came with each trip to the mall was to see if we could "out-obnoxious" our previous trip. A few of our favorite pasttimes included:
- Buying super-balls, going up to the second level, and bouncing the ball down to the lower level and across to the other side. We learned the hard way to avoid doing this in front of a shop that sells crystal or Hummels.
- Playing "Killer" (a tougher-sounding form of hide-and-seek) in one of the anchor stores like Marshall Fields. Every now and then they'd be serving cheese & crackers in the furnture department if you were lucky. Kids gravitate towards freebies like moths to a flame.
- Once we bought a helium balloon and poured a jar of that green slime stuff (you know what I'm talking about) and released it while the slime dripped down upon unsuspecting shoppers.
- We'd go to customer service and see if we could convince the person working to page someone. I know you're thinking we'd use names like "Mike Hunt" or "Phil McCracken", but we got enough of a kick out of using regular names that we never had to resort to that. We were weird.
Nowadays I loathe the fucking mall. I avoid them at all costs. The nearest one to me is about 1.5 hours away. Suits me just fine. I've eaten enough Sbarro pizza to last a lifetime.