To What Should I Attribute My Unprecedented Popularity?...

My buddy Jen over at The Slack tagged me...

A- Available or single?
Engaged. Oh, didn't I tell you!?
B- Best Friend? Diamonds (What can I say? I'm in touch with my feminine side.)
C- Cake or pie? Both go right to my thighs.
D- Drink of choice? puddle water
E- Essential item I use every day. plunger
F- Favorite color: Badd (as in "Color me...)
G- Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms?
Gummy Venus De Milo
H- Hometown? Elmhurst , IL
I- Indulgence: No, I'm not Catholic.
J- January or February?
It would've been February, but that silent-r pisses me off.
K- Kids and names:
A girl, Nargausius, and a boy, L'il Suck.
L- Life is incomplete without? Mikey (He LIKES it!)
M- Marriage date: potato salad
N- Number of siblings: brother & sister (twins), younger
O- Oranges or apples? I don't like to compare these two things.
P- Phobias or fears? Concrete, grass, and wood. It's a cross I bear every day.
Q- Favorite quote? "Huh?" - Britney Spears
R- Reasons to smile: gassiness
S- Season: Sure, put a little Oregano on it.
T- Tag 3 or 4 people. Hey, don't be tellin' me what to do!
U- Unknown fact about me: I have exactly two hairs on the mid-knuckles of my two ring fingers, but none of the other ones. Seriously.
V- Vegetable you don’t like: You name it, I probably don't like it.
W- Worst habit: Sticking my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Y- Your favorite food? F to the muthafuckin' P, boy-eeez! As if you didn't know.
Z- Zodiac? Uncle Leo


teri said...

you are a RIOT!

Jen said...

a fine job indeed!

still doing the
mashed potato thing

I thought you kicked that

Flannery Alden said...


Chris said...

Teri- Tell me something I DON'T know.

Jen- I've tried everything. Maybe I need to go on Dr. Phil.

Flan- Ha! Just kidding!

Flannery Alden said...

Oh, you!

Grant Miller said...

That must be some party if you're sticking your dick in the mashed potatos

vikkitikkitavi said...

Chris, I'm not sure how to break this to you, but the R is not silent.

The Boob Lady said...

Son of a bitch. Who is the skank you're marrying? I've been trying for months.

And about the mashed potatoes? Stop. You'll get a yeast infection.

The Boob Lady said...

And... LOL Gummy Venus De Milo.

Is it on your babysitter's ass?

Anonymous said...


Jesus, don't do this to me when I've been drinking-- I got down to number 65 or so before I realized that some of your responses were tongue-in-cheek... Whoo...

"why is there never any rum?"

---Depp as
Captain Jack Sparrow

Anonymous said...

Oh, my Christmas break began at 3:15 and I began drinking at 4 PM. Having read ::hic!!:: the comments I'm with all them femmy folken like Flann & Boob Lady-- YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE *SENSE* THAN TO GET ENGAGED!!

::SLAP!!:: snap outta' it, dood! what the hell is 'matter widcha?!

Megan said...

Damnit! Grant already made my "if it's gonna be that kinda party" joke!

Chris said...

Flan- Gotcha!

Grant- The B-Boys have taught me well.

Vikki- Quick! Vikki's tongue-in-cheek detector is on the fritz! I think it requires AA batteries. Jeez!

Boob Lady- What can I say? I'm a tough nut to crack. BTW- that's my all-time favorite Simpsons.

B.O.- It must be good to be on vacation and likkered up already.

Megan- That Grant Miller is a quick one. You gotta be on your toes around him.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Oh, and to think that I almost didn't leave that comment because even I don't pronounce the R. And I have a strict rule about Rs.

Dean Martin said...

I love you - you're hilarious! Your lady must be great and congratulations! I'll drink to that!