I sense there aren't many people who read my blog that plan on voting for Giuliani, but in case you're afraid he has a chance of winning, allow me to allay those fears. He cannot win. It's not because he supports gay rights. It's not because his abortion stance is at odds with most republicans. It's not even because of his checkered marital history.
It's because his name is Rudy.
There can't be a president named Rudy.
Rudy is this guy:
Or this girl:
Of course, he could use his given name, Rudolph, but then people think of this: