The Ultimate Post...

I'm really in the mood to do a thoughtful post. You know, one of those posts that tackles a compelling, if not controversial, topic. Something nice and long - meaty, if you will. I could find an appropriate picture for it and come up with an eye-catching title - one that just dares you to read it. In the body of the post, I'd start out with a provocative opening statement and follow it up with clever supporting points. They might be in the form of analogies, references to other articles available on the internets, or amusing anecdotes that draw on my own personal experiences. I'd cap it off with an excellent closer - something that wraps everything up with a neat little bow. Then I would invite others to share their own feelings on the matter. In the comments section, I would wait for people to disagree with me and then, ever so tactfully, tell them how they don't know their ass from apple butter.

Now I just need a topic.

Anyone want to hear how I feel about a particular pressing issue of the day?

Yeah, I didn't think so.