2/01/2007

A Post About A Fucked-Up Dream From A Long Time Ago That I'm Not Sure How People Will React To...

Like I mentioned a long time ago in THIS POST, I have a good memory for stupid, meaningless things from my childhood. The one I'm going to tell you about involves a dream I've never forgotten. I had it when I was six. It was one of those dreams where you wake up and think, "What the FUCK was that all about?" Granted, I probably didn't know the word "fuck" at the time, but you get the point. At first I was nervous about sharing this, but I figure you all know I'm not opposed to revealing weird shit about myself and that this will just be another example of that.

So, in my dream I'm riding my little red Schwinn Pixie (sans training wheels) home from school. It's a pretty day in the late spring. No one else is outside on my block. As I get close to my house, I notice something strange in my driveway. Parked in the driveway is my family's red Oldsmobile Cutlass. Standing in front of it are two beautiful red-headed women - they look like models and appear to be identical twins. They are dressed in nothing but red sequined bras and red panties that happen to be crotchless. In front of them is a pile of brand new toys, including a Green Machine (pictured above), except that all the toys are, you guessed it, red. The women have their arms outstretched as if to say, "This is all yours!" This is when I suddenly woke up.

How a six-year-old in a straight-laced, church-going family could have any concept of crotchless panties is beyond me. I don't know that I've seen a pair first-hand to this day. Anyone have any theories what this was about?

12 comments:

Amy said...

I don't know about the whole crotchless panties thing... maybe you were just born a perv.

I do know that my older step sister had one of those green machine things, and every time I tried to ride it I wanted to get it to spin soooo bad, but couldn't. I was just a big wheel girl. *sniff*

coffeypot said...

First of all, why were you afraid? Was it the red hair (I assume the collar and cuff matched) or was it the fact that you were not supposed to see girls like that – so sayith the chuch?

Secondly, the hell of it is you didn’t get to play with all the toys. Bummer!

Megan said...

Dude. Something is seriously wrong with you.

Teri said...

is there a therapist in the house?

Dale said...

Are you still gingerphobic?

Big Orange said...

Oh, c'mon, it's BECAUSE you came from a straight-laced family that you DID dream up gals in red panties: if you'd grown up with messed up parents who did pot and had sex on the livin' room floor you'd be dreaming of librarians in woolen pantsuits with their hair tied back helping you find a book on how to crochet.

I know, because *I* had fucked up dreams exactly like that and *I* came from a straight-laced fambly meself.

P.S., I like to call those "Kafka Dreams"

K.I.D. said...

You were SUCH a deviant.

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

Duuuuuuuude!-
You just blew it with Megan. What the fuck were you thinking?

Slinger said...

When I was a kid, the Green Machine was the envy of anyone who didnt have one. And I had weird dreams, but nothing sick like this, atleast until I was 8.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Freud said that dreams are wishes. Clearly that's true for you.

Flannery Alden said...

Jung said that everyone in your dreams is you. So not only do you want a green machine but you want red hair and crotchless panties.

Zed said...

So sad. So very very sad.