2/21/2007

Cushioned Toilet Seats...

I'm just not sure about these things. There's one on the toilet at my office.

Here's the thing: My ass is already pretty cushy. Setting it upon a cushy toilet seat creates an ultra-cushy situation that's a little unnerving. You might say, "Well, your couch is cushy and you enjoy sitting on IT, don't you?" Sure I do, but I don't usually take a dump on it. I'm probably not making any sense, but what else is new? My point is, I like my toilet to be as utilitarian as possible - free of bright colors and unaesthetic in its design.


Boy, I'm really starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel now with posts like this...

15 comments:

Phil said...

I love those things, not sure why I haven't bought one yet...

Flannery Alden said...

You don't usually take a dump on your couch?!? That's a relief.

BTW: I'm with you vis a vis cushy toilet seats. They somehow seem unsanitary and unwholesome. I imagine that the foam inside the vinyl covering must be a breeding ground for all kinds of nasty things.

Frank Sirmarco said...

True dat, Flannery!

Megan said...

FYI, you're not supposed to take a dump ON the toilet seat either.

mixednut said...

Scraping the bottom of the bowl? ;)

The Boob Lady said...

PLUS... On those stupid foam filled plastic cushy seats, they always crack with wear and you end up catching your bum on them.

Or, rather, I heard that CAN happen...

Dale said...

The boob lady said crack.

Bubs said...

I've always found those padded seats to be somehow...unsanitary, I suppose. I just think a toilet seat should be made of a simple hard surface that's easily wiped clean. And I think Boob Lady has a point with the cracking. or so I've heard

Scarlet said...

Toilets are a place to do your "business" then go. A cushy seat? What next? Newspapers. a massage. email access.

Don't use it!!

coffeypot said...

I think that blue cushy toilet seat would look good hanging on your office wall with a picture of you boss smiling back at you.

Anon. Blogger said...

Cushy toilet seats... bad idea - another bad idea? Wooden seats. Yuck.

GETkristiLOVE said...

I disagree. This is the finest post you have ever put forth.

Big Orange said...

I don't like that little FOOSH of air when you sit down on 'em: it means there's an opening somewhere that nasty butt-crudd can sneak into from the person before you. THEN the N.B-C. fooshes out on YOUR ass when YOU sit down and gives YOU Nasty Butt-Crudd.

Toilet seats should be hard plastic so they're easy to sanitize. Besides, make 'em TOO cooshy and you'll be there on the throne all day long and not doing any work for Da' Maaaan

Big Orange said...

Meanwhile, I don't USUALLY crap on my couch, either, but just in case I've put plastic garbage bags around the foam cushion and put the covers back on. Now my COUCH has that slowly-deflating FOOOSH that I don't like in toilet seats... But at least I know the people's who's butt-cruddies may be on there already...

Slinger said...

I dont like these either, they always stick to my ass when I get up.