2/14/2007

Happy Valentine's Day To All!...

To those of you without a Valentine this year, I can relate. I went many years without one. During this drought, I learned the best ways to cope:
  • Drink (a lot)
  • Listen to songs like "Love Bites" by Def Leppard or Bobby Darin's "Down With Love".
  • Get one of those heart-shaped boxes of chocolate, eat all the candy rapidly, then fill the box with M-80s and pretend it's the Fourth Of July instead.
  • Buy a cheap spray bottle and fill it with liquid nitrogen. If any of the jackasses at work get bouquets of flowers, give 'em a little spritz and then crush them with a fly-swatter.
  • Go to a romantic restaurant, find a couple of lovebirds staring doe-eyed at each other, and flick boogers at them.
Or you could start a blog, write a bunch of slightly humorous shit, and slowly but surely woo a member of the opposite sex that lives a thousand miles away. It just might work!

15 comments:

Linda van der Wildt said...

LOL that picture! I'm glad that's not my boyfriend :D

Love, Linda
http://lindavanderwildt.blogspot.com

Johnny Yen said...

Sixteen years ago today, I broke up with a woman, yes, on Valentine's Day. She still hates me. About two years ago, I was walking out of the grocery store and she was in her car, apparently waiting for someone in the store, in the firelane. I had to walk in front of her car to get out of the store, and she gave me the evil eye. I think that the only reason she didn't start her car up and run me over is that my son was with me.

Anon. Blogger said...

Thanks for the suggestions! I've always gone with tried and true #1, but the others sound intriguing.

The blog idea is wonderful, but I'm going to have to start a new one... the one I have now has to have scared anyone that isn't crazy as a loon away!

The best part of V-day for me is making a heart shaped pizza with the kids. We have lots of fun. I think I'll do a post.

dirty said...

I sent my husband flowers at work...haha.

What did you send Megan?

Valerie said...

I'm with Dirty...we all want to know how you are spoiling Megan today. After ALL these years of not having a date on Valentine's Day, surely today you are going all out!?!?!?!

(hint hint)

The Boob Lady said...

Pffft.. I've already started drinking *hic* and I am also working on wooing a member of the opposite sex with my blog.

Show me the way or sensei. How did you do it??

Dave Evanns said...

Holy crap! Now I know what to shave into my back! Thanks!

coffeypot said...

OUCH! I wonder what he will do for Presidents Day?

K.I.D. said...

Happy V-day to you!

I think I will opt to flick boogers at happy couples.

Chris said...

Linda- Always nice to have someone from one of my favorite countries drop by! Welcome!

Johnny- I hope you at least bought your son an ice cream cone for saving your life.

Anon.- Check out my archives. Crazy as a loon would be an understatement in terms of my posts. Better that a suitor know upfront.

Dirty & Val- Damn! I completely forgot to send something!

Boob Lady- Congrats! My advice is be yourself and be prepared to travel.

Dave- Be careful and thanks for stopping by!

Coffeypot- I'm afraid to even think about it.

K.I.D.- I have a whole sack of 'em if you're short on ammo.

vikkitikkitavi said...

You know what's not a good idea for V-Day? Invite all your other unattached coworkers to your house for a party. Drink a whole bottle of champagne by yourself. Spend most of the evening in the bathroom puking until you finally come out and everyone is gone. Spend the next 3 years living it down.

Big Orange said...

you know, that last bit o' advice just might work!! I'm still waitin' for That Special One to link on, tho... >:-}

Dale said...

Who said your blog was slightly humourous?

Flannery Alden said...

Why is "Love Stinks" by J. Geils Band not on the list? When I was alone on Valentines Day, I liked listening to that song and smashing things, like Hummels and Precious Moments figurines.

GETkristiLOVE said...

It was a few years ago now, but I went out with my best HockeyHo friend one "Lonely Heart" VDay and we got drunk on tequila. She's a lesbian, and ended up going home with a boy that night, and I had to break up a fight between two guys I dated (yes, they were fighting over me), and didn't go home with either one because they were acting like jackasses.