I just want to take a second and share my thoughts on wedding showers. Up until recently I have been living under the (probably misguided) assumption that men were exempt from having to attend such things. The other day I received an invitation to something called a "couple's shower". Living in semi-isolation, I have been blissfully unaware of the rise in popularity of these events. I was always under the impression that women, for the most part, didn't want us at these things. For one, they surely know that we'll be miserable and antsy the entire time, especially in the case of the one I was invited to, which coincides with the second week of football season. I was perfectly willing to forgive the repellant reliance on materialism that showers promote if I was left out of the whole mess. Now that I've been dragged into it, I must voice my objections.Correct me if I'm wrong, but the whole point of a shower is to "shower" the bride and groom with more gifts. If the obligation to buy crap that will one day be in a garage sale didn't exist, then it's just a party to celebrate the impending marriage and I would be down with that (even though I think the wedding itself is enough). Some brides have multiple showers. I understand that its intent is to provide the bride and groom with things for their new home and life together, but in many cases these couples have been living together for a while and already have nice things. It seems out of whack for me to buy a couple a fancy set of ice cream dishes when I'm still eating cereal out of used Cool Whip containers. I'm happy to give them a wedding gift, but as for all this other obligatory gift-giving, I'm putting my foot down. I urge my fellow males (and any females who think showers are lame - there must be a few) to join me in this struggle.
5 comments:
I received nothing at any of my showers that I didn't return for store credit. Men don't belong at showers...they belong in front of the television...
I think that this traditional event has been tarnished by greed. I have a romantic notion that wedding showers were sort of an initiation of a maiden into the world of adults. Not only would a bride-to-be receive necessities for building a household, but she would also receive advice and be given a "heads-up" on what to expect from married life.
I still think this is a necessary rite of passage. It's important for young ladies to hear what the older ladies have to say about life. Even if the younger ones don't believe any of the tales they hear. They should at least have the chance to hear them.
So, I'm with you Chris and Dirty; leave the men out of the whole shower business. A couple shower is about as appealing as a couple who claim proudly, "We're pregnant!" Let's leave some gender lines in place.
Had I been told some tales at my shower who actually knows where I would be today. I think our family uses showers to gossip and for a free Sunday meal...
I like the traditional rite of passage way to think about it and agree about the greed...this world is ruled by greed anymore.
"Wedding showers" are bullshit.
You can have a shower for the bride so that her friends can give her nice underwear and warn her that after she gets married she won't be having much sex anymore.
You can do the same for the groom - it's called a bachelor party, and that's where his friends buy him a stripper and warn him that after he gets married he won't be having much sex anymore.
You can have an "engagement party" to which everyone is invited, but then the guests are not obligated to bring a gift if they are invited to the wedding and will be buying a wedding gift for that occasion.
But a "wedding shower" is bullshit, made-up tradition, and I think you are right to feel put out.
I hate wedding showers. My friend just got engaged last month and has informed us that there will be 3, count them, 3 showers as well as engagement party and a bachelorette party. Oh, and the damn wedding.
I will go to one shower. I will give one gift. That's it.
I have been to a bunch of co-ed showers though, and they were actually fun, because A, there were no stupid games, and B, people tended to give cooler gifts, like bareware, instead of casserole dishes.
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