9/14/2006

Come On, Americans...

I'm not a big fan of polls. I think the media is far too reliant on them. I also question their accuracy. In my life I have never been polled regarding politics. However, polls exist and so I'll comment on them.

It has come to my attention that over the past few weeks President Farty-Pants has seen a rise in his approval ratings. To the five percent of you that have recently changed your minds I ask:

Are you fucking insane?

Are you seriously going to keep buying this douchebag's snake oil? How many times does he have to be wrong for it to sink in. He's in-com-po-tent. You disapproved just a few weeks ago. What changed? Was it his recent speeches about how there is an Islamo-path in your closet right now, with a scimitar, ready to jump out and make falafel out of you unless you vote republican? Are you that gullible? I know the hyper-christians are a lost cause, but you fence-riders better get your asses back over on this side. Pretty please? How about if I promise you cookies? No? What about porn?

9 comments:

Flannery Alden said...

Offer them the moral high ground...that is always tasty and "sacrilicious" (tm Frank Sirmarco!)

Amy said...

I'm already on your side, but can I have the cookies and porn anyway?

Chris said...

Flannery: Actually, Frank got that from an episode of The Simpsons.
Amy: I have a feeling you'll fit in just fine over here.

Frank Sirmarco said...

"I know I shouldn't eat thee..."

"Mmmm sacrilicious"

Flannery Alden said...

Oh, dear. I should have known that.

Phil said...

Success in politics seems to be entirely on perception. If people "feel" he is doing something then that's all they need.

erik said...

you need to think more like bin laden....he promises his followers virgins in paradise. and you're handin out porn and cookies, sounds like your trying to sway a horny santa clause!

I'm thinkin for those monkey republicans, you need to promise them a seat next to jesus in heaven, lots of guns, and loads of gay men to shoot at with those guns.....but seeing as though the most anti-gay people in the GOP have turned out to be gay.....i'm thinkin that may not work

Chris said...

Erik: You missed my point. I'm not trying to sway the die-hards. I've given up on them. I'm trying to get back the odd birds that a few weeks ago disapproved of Dubya, but now changed their minds. It's like trying to coax a squirrel with a nut.

Big Orange said...

I'll take the porn. I've been a registered independent since I was 18 and legally able TO vote. I see no need to either A) join a party or B) vote for a CFM (Complete Fucking Moron).