A Perfect Day In The Future, Part Two...

In my last entry of this kind, I won (and quickly lost) the admiration of some of my female readers with my description of a perfect day spent with a still fictional wife and kids. It relied upon both my ability to find a suitable wife AND the potency of my sperm. This entry relies on a different set of circumstances: that some of my friends and I remain single AND that we get our thumbs out of our butts and make enough money to afford the following venture.

In an area along the northern shore of Lake Huron, there are many small islands, some of which can be found for sale at any given time. Due to a mounting frustration with U.S. foreign and domestic policy, my friends and I have dreamt what it would be like to pool our money and buy one of these islands, preferably one that straddles the Canadian border. Once the deal was made, we would declare our island a sovereign nation and ask that we be allowed to secede. I don't imagine there being any problem with this (don't forget, it's a dream). Our new nation will have one law, one that should be familiar to all - the Golden Rule. There will be no prohibitions of any kind. If you want to cook your heroin with a burning flag, so be it. If you want to marry a llama, who are we to judge? We will be a self-sufficient nation. This dream has more to do with a situation than a single event, but since we're dealing with one day, here's what it might look like:

• Wake up.
• Take a dump.
• Have a beer as I walk through the woods, foraging for nuts and berries.
• Come back to the house and watch a rerun of Dawson's Creek.
• Sit outside on a big rock in the sun and do some woodcarving (or, as my southern readers call it - whittling).
• Cook a frozen pizza for lunch.
• Finish a tough New York Times crossword puzzle.
• Chop firewood.
• Take the kayak out for a spin.
• Return to find my friends have grilled up various types of meat.
• Watch Jeopardy.
• Watch the sunset from a hot tub.
• Fall asleep in the kind of bed that is so comfortable that it becomes a part of you.

Granted, this one may be a tad more far-fetched than the last one. Another dream deals with a Costa Rican banana plantation, but we'll talk about that another time...