Today is
Bill O'Reilly's 59th birthday and, as one of his dearest friends, I received an invitation. Billy opted for an "Elmo" theme (dork). I'm giving him a
Donald Rumsfeld Action Figure. Knowing Bill, he'll stick that thing right up his butt as soon as he opens it and break it. Then he'll start screaming (something similar happened last year when I gave him
THIS). What I'm really looking forward to is a spirited game of "Pin the wrinkled weiner on the Fox News intern". I'll try to have pictures up tomorrow.
13 comments:
Is it BYOB?
I bet it is.
hahahahaha, that is fuckin hilarious!
I'm gonna give him a Sit-N-Spin and when he starts to sit and spin, I'm gonna pull it out from under him and say, "Sorry, this is the No Spin Zone." NAAAAA..HAHAHAH NAAAA.HAHAHAHA NAAAAA.
I just read Zibbs' comment and now I can't stop laughing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
And I just noticed the post tags.
"CUNT-ASS PEEHOLES, ELMO"
Niiice.
I'm pretty sure this is my 8th comment.
Sorry.
(I'm not really sorry. I'm sorry for lying and saying I was sorry.)
I love your blog.
Good bye.
(last comment)
You should be writing this stuff for Newsweek. They could use a guy like you, you nut.
Doc
I received an invitation, too. I can't make it to the party, but I sent him a $30 gift certificate to the Falafel Hut.
I can't top Dr. Zibbs and Falwless, so I won't even try.
Can Bill himself be the pinata! If so, I'll be there!
Bill O'reilly is a true patriot. He's got a hit show on a hit network and talks and gestures a lot. He believes in the true pillars of this greatest nation:ambush journalism, phone sex, red wine, skewed frames, and jingoist slogans and taglines. I think maybe you're all jealous because you weren't invited to his party.
I got an invite, too. Sadly, Saturday is the day I wash my hair. Can you take my gift with you?
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