I can't tell you how many times I've been out and about wearing my ass-less chaps when someone has come up to me and asked, "Hey, Chappy, how do you keep your butt so smooth and supple?" It always gets me a little excited because I know they're about to be introduced to a revolutionary product that will change their life and their ass forever. It's called Anti Monkey Butt and it's available now. Just apply Anti Monkey Butt every half hour and kiss your ass-rot goodbye! Look for the trusted psychotic monkey on the label or ask for it by name.Anti Monkey Butt. Doesn't your ass deserve the very best?
9 comments:
Dear Mr. Chappy, thank you for your endorsement, but in the future please include our disclaimer:
The opinions expressed in this note are not necessarily those of SquabbMerlCo or its subsidiaries. Anti Monkey Butt is not available, anywhere. Offer void in Wisconsin. Any resemblance to actual drugs, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any unauthorized use of your judgment in the application of Anti Monkey Butt is strictly prohibited.
Anti Monkey Butt may not be reproduced without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball. Anti Monkey Butt may cause drowsiness or restlessness in lab animals. Do not resume sexual activity while operating heavy machinery without consulting your physician. For erections lasting longer than four hours, insert your own joke here. If you experience psychotic episodes, you’re crazy. If death occurs, discontinue use of Anti Monkey Butt immediately. If symptoms persist, consult your physician. All sales final. Batteries not included.
That's a rip of the product I currently have in development: Ass-On "Apply Directly To The Ass"
Oh my God this all just gave me cramps laughing...
If chaps had an ass they'd be called "pants."
Ok-I'm sold! Where can I order said product?!
Don't forget to check out the product "Butt Paste" too.
I got a case of this for the team!
Personally, I enjoy monkey butt.
They have that stuff at the counter at our local Ace Hardware store! Seriously!! It is there all summer. I always wonder who is so uncomfortable that they grab that item off the check-out counter. They must buy it, it is there every summer!
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