A Christmas-Flavored Tag...

This one comes via Genn6.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
I suppose if I had to pick, it'd be hot chocolate, but I'm not a big fan of hot drinks. Drinking a glass full of raw eggs just sounds disgusting.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Actually, Santa farms that stuff out to 9-year-old Malaysians. Globalization, baby!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
We had custom-made black Christmas lights. It made Christmas that much more funky.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
No. Well, only where you can't see it. Ka-zing!

5. When do you put your decorations up?

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
Rita Moreno.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
Cleaning all the reindeer droppings off the roof. Those things make an ungodly mess. My brother, sister, and I would compete to see who could find the most/biggest/stankest. The winner got a Denny's gift certificate.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
You mean the shit about his, um, tendencies towards his reindeer fleet. I'm sorry. This is a family blog.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
I open a bunch. Once your parents divorce, it becomes necessity.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
I once got this really sad, "Charlie Brown"-tree and decorated it. It looked great, but each day I'd come home and the cat had knocked everything, lights and ornaments, off. He continued, so I discontinued the tree.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it?
I live along Lake Michigan in Northern Michigan in one of the premier snow belts in the country. I'd better like snow.

12. What's the best part of Christmas to you?
Kids laughing and smiling a lot.

13 . Do you remember your favorite gift?
Not really. I remember getting a bitchin' Navy Pea Coat that I really wanted one year.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
The birth of little baby Jesus, of course! Do you think Joseph got to cut the cord?

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
My mom makes this chocolate-covered thing with peppermint ice cream, the kind with the candy bits in it. I ask her to make it each year. She does because she knows how much my approval means.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Lately, it's been Dubya's "Barney-Cam".

17. What tops your tree?
Bitch, I tell you I ain't gots no tree! Shee-it.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?
Again, this is a family blog. Totally inappropriate question.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Mama's Gotta Die Tonight, by Body Count

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Oh, you're supposed to EAT those things!? Thanks for telling me.

I want to see what my boy, Frank, can do with this puppy.


GETkristiLOVE said...

Chris, you should buy a pre-lit, itty-bitty Christmas tree at Target for $2.49. No mess, no fuss, no commitment - perfect for you. As a Ho on the Go, I got one for myself.

Anonymous said...

ah, Chris, you're a funny guy.

loved the answers.

Anonymous said...

Ah yes... the reindeer droppings tradition. That happened at our house, too.

Anonymous said...

I think you need to open a private blog, tell us all your thoughts on the NON-FAMILY shit, and invite me and Flann and whomever else y'all want. I want dirty stories.

Valerie said...

A guy I used to work with had a mistletoe belt buckle.

Jenny Jenny Flannery said...

I don't need to hear the dirty stories, thank you.

Some Guy said...

Kristi- Good thinking! At $2.49 I can't afford NOT to get one.

Teri- That's the nicest thing anyone could say. I try.

Amy- Nasty shit, ain't it?

B.O.- You would be sadly disappointed by my lack of dirty stories, I'm afraid.

Val- Classy guy.

Flan- Don't worry.

Moderator said...

I got a good laugh from the Rita Moreno line.

Some Guy said...

Grant- That was my favorite, too. Do we know comedy or what!?

Bob said...

I seem to recall that "Mama's Gotta Die Tonight" wasn't exactly a Christmas song.

gennifer6 said...

nice work...you and Frank are both nuts. No. 18, I wish I'd thought about how that question really sounded before I answered it. ;)