4/25/2007

Comic Dissection: Hi & Lois...

Hi & Lois probably holds the title for the comic strip most likely to be reprinted in a church bulletin. This is not because it is especially religious, but because it's so damn saccharine that clergy people know that not even the most strident church-lady would ever be offended by it. Thanks to a little digging, though, I think I found one that might come close.

In the first frame we find mom Lois (looking fucking FLY in that tight shirt) and dad Hi (looking like a sack of flour) reminiscing about son Chip and his stubbornness when it came to bath time when he was young. In the next frame, Lois, looking dejected, informs Hi that Chip has done a complete 180 and is now into taking lengthy, record-breaking showers. You can tell by the look on Hi's face that he knows the score. He was a teenage boy himself once. He remembers when he started noticing hair growing where, before, there was none. He remembers the cracking voice and waking up in a puddle of his own ejaculate. You see, if Lois would just turn around and look, she'd understand why Chip's showers have gotten longer. Shit, just look at the smile on his face. Check out the excessive suds around his crotch. You'd have to be blind not to see what's going on! Wake up, Lois, for god's sake! Your son's jerkin' it!

Bonus fact: Did you know that Chip went on to join the army and eventually changed his name to Beetle Bailey? True story.

9 comments:

Skylers Dad said...

Isn't it just a bit perverted that their kitchen opens directly into the shower?

Or is my house the only one not designed this way?

The Boob Lady said...

HAHA! If you look closely, you can see his hand near his junk too!

Johnny Yen said...

When I was a kid, I used to think Lois was really sexy. Was that so wrong?

Writeprocrastinator said...

Um, what Skyler's Dad and the Boob Lady said.

That, and no MILF is drawn hotter than Blondie.

Skylers Dad said...

Yeah, BLONDIE!! And she is like, what, 80 years old by now?

Flannery Alden said...

This could be a cross-over post with "What's Grosser Than Gross".

Big Orange said...

I used shampoo once when I was about Chip's age for bearclawing-- this was before the days of flax seed oil and all that stuff and the SD alcohol killed my whole epidermis and left me looking like a war vet. It scared hell outta me.

Also, WHY is the door to the BR open so we can see whaz' goin' on??

ALSO, ALSO, would a church lady REALLY see that far into this 'toon, or is Chris just gots a dirty mind??

Amy said...

I always suspected the Beetle Bailey thing.

Frank Sirmarco said...

Lois knows about all the hair growing in Chip's special places. She likes to touch his balls while Chip watches Hi take a dump on Trixie.