1/03/2007

The Best Christmas Ever...

I like to avoid flowery posts where I talk about how great my life is, much like those obnoxious Christmas cards I bitched about a few posts back. However, this particular Christmas was so fucking incredible that I'm afraid you're just going to have to suffer or else stop reading now. This is also a post I'm very nervous about writing (kind of like THIS ONE). It will reveal some private shit about me that I've kept out of my blog thus far.

First, the benign stuff. As I mentioned briefly, I had been having communication problems with my brother. We hadn't spoken since August. Fortunately, these problems seem to have resolved themselves for the time being and we got along great. I truly hope that things between us will continue to improve. I also got to spend considerable time with my cutie-pie niece. She has a minimal recognition of me, which about makes me melt. It was nice to spend more time with my dad and his girlfriend as well. As usual, my mom - the emotional anchor of my family - created a pleasant atmosphere with plenty of laughs. I also got to spend the Friday before Christmas with some of my closest friends. So far, so good, right? It gets better.

From the day after Christmas until Saturday, I got to enjoy the company of a beautiful woman. I know. Shocking.

Here's the thing: I know I've spent a lot of blog space lamenting my ineffectiveness when it comes to attracting women. However, I've never really opened up about just how deep this ineffectiveness runs. You see - and this is a huge closet I'm exiting now - I have never in my 34 years had a proper girlfriend. You can't imagine how tough and embarassing this is for me to admit. I've gone on dates, had drunken make-out sessions, even had a brief courtship with a female member of one of my bike tours, but I've never been able to say "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend." I've had numerous unrequited crushes on women who I felt, at the time, may have been interested in me, but never were. It is something that has been a drag on my self-esteem ever since I was young and started noticing girls not noticing me. Let's face it, to be my age and in this situation is pretty weird. Trust me, no one knows this more than me. While I am shy, I'm not a complete social misfit. I can carry on coherent conversations with members of the opposite sex without sweating profusely or stammering. I'm not grossly disfigured, but I always assumed there was something physically unappealing about me, because I always felt confident that I was funny and intelligent and, most of all, a nice guy. After a while, I started losing interest in even trying to date, kind of like Andy in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin". Luckily for me, I have a great group of friends that never made me feel strange about any of this. They accepted me regardless. Even so, I've always felt abnormal as a result.

Anyway, the four days after Christmas were magical. Without going into a lot of detail, I got to do a lot of the things most of you would probably take for granted. Things like taking walks arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand. I got to be romantic for the first time - a side of me that has had to lie in wait, lo these many years. I got to eat in a cozy restaurant and gaze into my companion's eyes and just feel happy. I got to share a bottle of decent champagne and Godiva chocolates. I got to steal kisses in elevators until other people got on. Most of all, I got to spend time with someone I'm crazy about and someone that seems to like me as well, even knowing all the stuff about me I've just told you.

I hope this post didn't make you grab for your barf bag. For those of you reading that are still hoping to find someone special, don't give up hope. If I can find it, anyone can. I also hope I haven't ruined my rep as a foul-mouthed dork with liberal tendencies. I'm still the same guy you've come to know and like. I'm just a little (well, a lot) happier. I promise not to let it affect the high-quality snark I strive to provide here at Some Guy's Blog.

27 comments:

Flannery Alden said...

Way to go, Chris!

Beth said...

Some Guy, I'm sitting at my desk applauding! I'm so happy for you. I never understood your lack of female companionship because, in addition to those wonderful traits you listed ... well, you are a hottie.

Does this smart woman live in Chicago or your area of the world?

RandyLuvsPaiste said...

Chris- see what happens when you travel to places where women actually live? (hint: it's NOT Northern Michigan)

Frank Sirmarco said...

You're all grows up and you're all grows up...

Anon. Blogger said...

Maybe you didn't give yourself enough credit for very well tuned instincts and great timing.

Some people don't connect until they find 'the one' a.k.a., their soul-mate. Then, if we're lucky, that happens when we are mature enough to appreciate it and wise enough to recognize it.

Good Luck and I'm glad you had a great Christmas!!!

Johnny Yen said...

Chris-- first off, when it comes to bragging about cute little relatives-- nieces, nephews, your own children-- take the gloves off. Brag away.

Second, congratulations! Sometimes nice guys do finish first.

And third, you've inspired me to think about talking to my two estranged brothers.

Anon. Blogger said...

Sorry if that previous post ended abruptly, I had to go hurl. :D

Chris said...

Flan- Yes, thanks. (takes a small bow)

Beth- Neither, unfortunately.

Randy- Yeah, but I lived around Chicago most of my life and never had any luck then, either, so I think it was more than just bad geography.

Frank- Do I finally get to sit at the adult's table at Thanksgiving?

Anon.- I knew this one would drive someone to puke.

Johnny Yen- At least think about it. I'm cautious to suggest one way or the other. It's something that has to be right for you. You'll know. I hope anything I said might help result in positive developments.

Valerie said...

I'm sorry we didn't get to talk more at Club Lago...the whole York Reunion thing was surreal in some ways (I still can't believe I saw Sadhana--I've known her since first grade!).

But seriously, when I first saw you, you had such a huge grin on your face and I was so happy to see you so happy. We didn't know each other that well in high school, but it's been fun getting to know you better via your blog.

I wish you continued happiness and am glad to see a different side of you through this entry.

I'd think that your new lady friend must be really lucky because you've been waiting for a while to shower all types of romancing on. :)

p.s. You'll always be a "foul-mouthed dork" in my mind.

Amy said...

Aw, I'm so happy for you Chris!

I didn't even gag.

mixednut said...

e-Harmony pays off! Yes!!!

Congrats Chris, you da Man!

teri said...

Congrats, Chris, you deserve happiness.

I honestly can't believe that you "haven't had a proper girlfriend". There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you, except for the fact that you're crazy, but that's a plus, right?

I'm a believer in "when the right one comes along".

Never show her the blog, she'll run for the hills. OR maybe not??

Geo said...

Two things.

First, thanks again for organizing the Club Bloggo thing – was terrific.

Second, hell effen yeah. As one of those longtime friends, I prolly can't effectively type how happy I am for you. Echo Valerie's comment on the huge grin - did my little black heart proud ;)

Megan said...

Hey, some chicks like nice but foul-mouthed dorks. . .

Dale said...

That's sweeter than most of the candy and chocolate I ate over the holidays and just as filling. Now, knock it off. :-)

Coaster Punchman said...

Awww, I've got the warm tinglies now. Almost as good as a Q-Tip.

genn6 said...

I think you'd be surprised to find out how many people could say the same thing about never having a significant-other into their 30's, the reasons just as individual as the people.
Glad you got to step away from that. ;)

Marni said...

YAY, Chris! That is wonderful! She is the lucky one...

Sans Pantaloons said...

Some Happy Guy's Blog!

Phil said...

Well, that pretty great.

Erik said...

Kickass Chris!!! At Lago on Friday night you had this permanent smile on your face....was very cool to see! And Marni is right...she is the lucky one.

Just look at me...sometimes it takes a bit longer for some of us....way to go man...i'm really happy for ya!

Zed said...

Yea Chris! Yippee! I'm so happy for you!

If, and I'm just saying "if" here, this doesn't work out for you, then I hope you'll try match.com. I know sooooo many happy people that worked for. It might be worth a try.

You deserve the best Chris! You're a great guy!

Elizabeth said...

Appreciate every moment and never take her for granted. I’m truly happy for you.

lulu said...

You guys both seemed pretty smitten. Someone did a kick ass job of matchmaking......;-)

Melissa said...

I don't believe one word of this post, except for the "being smitten with a really awesome chick" part. How can YOU not have ever had a girlfriend?? Seriously!

Chris said...

Melissa- That's what everyone always says, but it is all quite true. Thanks for not believing it, though!

Mombi said...

Congratulations! That's very exciting news and I appreciate you sharing! I wish you would have shared earlier because I would have totally wanted to set you up with a couple of lady friends (one at a time, that is)!