1/13/2007

Gum...

I'm a gum chewer. Some people find this annoying, but I think nothing conveys an air of nonchalance better than chewing a piece of gum. Really, who doesn't want to look nonchalant? Not me. Currently, my gum of choice is:

Orbit.
I like that it's strong initially and maintains its flavor quite well.

Back in the day, like most suburban boys, I wanted to look cool. Obviously, nothing looks cooler than sticking a wad of chewing tobacco in your mouth. Unfortunately, twelve-year-old boys don't always have access to tobacco. Luckily, we DID have:
Big League Chew.
One can only guess how much of a "gateway gum" this became for kids destined for a life full of empty Coke bottles, half-full with dip-juice, and mouth cancer.

Perhaps the suckiest gum of all time was:
Chicklets Tiny Size.
This gum was fucking bogus. You pretty much had to empty the entire contents of the pack into your mouth just to end up with an adequate piece of gum to chew. Plus, it didn't taste all that good and had minimal staying power. Shit was WACK, yo.

14 comments:

K.I.D. said...

I never buy Big League Chew anymore, but I DO steal it from my neices and nephews. So delicious.

And Orbitz peppermint and wintermint gums the best!

Amy said...

I just like good old Wrigley's spearmint gum.

As a kid I liked some gum called Tidal wave, or something like that... it had liquid in the center.

Big Orange said...

I chew gum 'cuz it helps with my oral fixation and keeps my fingernails outta' me mouth. I'm a bubbly-gum fan meself, except that with facial hair it makes a horrendous mess.

My students, meanwhile, would crawl hands n' knees across 500' of broken glass for a stick o' gum, I've noticed; even the REALLY shitty stuff that you get at the $1 store for 100 pieces.

Valerie said...

You are wrong. The worst gum is Fruit Stripe. The flavor lasts for a minute, if you're lucky, and then your jaw muscles get sore because it's like trying to chew an actual rubber tire.

Dale said...

Did you have that gum called THRILLS? Now that I look it up, it seems like a Canadian thing. We always thought it tasted like soap but kept right on a buyin and a chewin.

Geo said...

Wrigely's Extra Polar Ice. Best. Gum. Ever.

Phil said...

I wonder if I can still fit an entire bag of Wrigley Chew in my mouth at once...

Phil said...

Oops.... Big League Chew, I meant...

Dave said...

I actually enjoyed Chicklets. Maybe it was the size?

Jen said...

I'm a big fan of gum
all kinds


and
tiny chicklets ROCK
even if the flavor only
lasts for a few minutes

it's a great few minutes!!!

anne altman said...

big league big league big league big league big league CHEW!

Chris said...

k.i.d.- BLC really does have a good taste, doesn't it? I liked grape.

Amy- I remember Tidal Wave. There was another one that had liquid in the middle and it'll drive me nuts until I think of it.

B.O.- Wow, you let your students chew gum? Awesome!

Valerie- Fruit Stripe is bad and I almost commented on it, but I figured it went without saying.

Dale- Never heard of it, even though I live close to the border.

Geo- Yeah, that stuff is good, too.

Phil- I think it's worth trying.

Dave- Regular sized Chicklets were OK. The mini ones were for shit.

Jen- I'll have to respectfully disagree.

Anne- So, you like it?

Amy said...

I'm such a nerd, I looked up the other liquid filled gum... Freshen Up.

GETkristiLOVE said...

My 9th grade Algebra teacher sent anyone that chewed Bubble Yum in her class to the Dean's office. On the last day of school, our class all stuck a piece of green apple Bubble Yum in our mouths and Mrs. Greenough walked in, sniffed, and walked right back out - for the entire period.

A small victory for gum-chewers alike.