I Ask Flannery Alden Questions And She Answers Them...

In the third part of my interview series, I sat down with Flannery Alden. She is a frequent commenter and hosted me for a night during my recent east coast road trip. She makes killer french toast and bacon.

I'm here with long-time blogger, Flannery Alden. Flannery, you have read my blog almost from the very beginning. To what do you attribute its unrivaled success?

I think your blog is so successful because you are a hunky underdog and chicks dig that. Also, you're spelling skills are exemplary. I could go on, but this interview is about me.

You are born and raised in Ohio. What, in your opinion, puts the "Oh" in Ohio?

Well, I've always heard that Ohio is high in the middle and round on both ends, which is an apt description of my home state. However, what puts the "Oh" in Ohio? Hmm...Licking County?

You wrote that you have a degree in Classical & Medieval Studies. How did you like the jousting class?

It was literally a pain in the ass. There were serious injuries in every class and, to make matters worse, in order to get any first aid or medical attention, one had to ask for it in either Latin, Greek, Old Norse or Olde English, depending on which of those classes were covering paramedics on that day. There were benefits, though. I did enjoy knocking the shit out of my wispy male colleagues and future leather mug makers. Huzzah!

I know, as a mother of two, that you watch a lot of children's television. Compare and contrast today's children's television with the shows we grew up with. I mean, isn't Spongebob just a cheap rip-off of the Snorks?

No, Spongebob is a rather well done rip-off of PeeWee Herman, as my good friend Elizabeth pointed out to me recently. However, you may be right about the Snorks. I can't rightly say as I've never heard of them.

As a student of the classics with regard to history, fashion, entertainment, language, and cars I have noticed that successful trends tend to come and go. I'm pleased to see today's children's television fare is influenced by the great shows of the past.

Many of the great new shows have taken something that worked in the past and layered on new, more contemporary themes and educational values. Take, for instance, Drake and Josh, a show I have recommended to you on countless occasions, yet you refuse to consider watching. It's basically Laverne and Shirley, which was basically I Love Lucy. All have great slapstick episodes and lovable losers at the helm. Where the Drake and Josh show innovates with regard to contemporary themes and educational values is: no one smokes or drinks on the show. That's progress.

If you could travel to any place that starts with an "L", where would it be?

London, Baby!

I rode my bike through Salem, Ohio once and these assholes drove by in cars and tried to run us off the road.

That's how you know you're in Ohio. If you're on a bike, people will try to run you off the road. I wouldn't take it personally, though; they probably just thought you were gay.

You and your husband contribute to a blog about beer. Name a beer that you like that most people would consider shit.

Rolling Rock.

You have written often about your neighbor's Tiki Bar and how it has become a gathering place for you and your friends. Is there any sort of Tiki philosophy or mantra or creed or something?

There is, Chris, and this is it: Peace, Love, Friendship, and Anarchy.

Thanks, Flannery. That is a wealth of knowledge you've provided us with.

And thank you, Chris, for being the you that you are.


Flannery Alden, ladies and gentlemen...