Whenever I meet people and tell them I know Chris, they always ask "What's he really like?"
And I always answer, "He's nice."
As is understandable, Chris generates a lot of controversy and is at the center of many urban legends. I hope to dispel some of the more fanciful ones here.
Is it true Chris lost both his kidneys to thieves?
Chris did not lose both his kidneys to thieves. This rumor started because Chris regularly sleeps in a tub of ice.
Is it true that Chris was the only real person ever depicted on a Pez dispenser?
No. The only real person ever depicted on a Pez dispenser was Betsy Ross. Oddly, Chris owns a cat named Betsy Ross.
Is it true Chris' real name is "Christopher?"
Yes. His real name is Christopher. He earned his street name, "Chris," in Boy Scouts.
Is it true that Chris is the founder of a Satanic cult in Michigan?
Chris is does not belong to a Satanic cult in Michigan.
Is it true that Chris was the model for the Gerber Baby?
No. Humphrey Bogart was the Gerber baby. Chris was the Morton's Salt girl.