The Best Things That Ever Happened to Chris and Me, Vol. I

Situation: We quit our shitty jobs at TCBY

Date: Summer/Fall 1988

The Story: During our sophomore years, Chris and I made the horrible, horrible mistake of getting jobs at TCBY. Chris started working there first, and then recruited my miserable ass to work there. It was awful: everyone in Elmhurst apparently NEEDED frozen yogurt all the time, because there would be a line of cars nearly a quarter-mile long waiting to visit the drive-thru EVERY FUCKING NIGHT! We were busy with drive-thru and walk-up business from the moment we got there (usually 4:00pm), and it wouldn’t relent until we closed at 10:00pm. What was worse was the fact that the franchise was so picky about keeping the place clean, that everyone had to stay nearly two hours past closing to clean, sweep, mop, and polish every goddamned inch of that place. The manager was a total douche-bag, his lackey supervisor was a brown-nosing cock-ass, and the owner’s wife looked like a ringwraith. We hated every moment we worked there.

One morning, the douche-bag manager called me at 6:30am and told me I needed to come in and unload a shipment of yogurt. I was supposed to be working part-time, enjoying my summer, and here I was working overtime at a yuppie 31 Flavors. The next time he called me at 6:30am, I told him to get bent. I never showed up again.

After I left, I got a job at Brookstone. A few months later, Chris quit his shitty job at TCBY and came to work with me.