Family Circus: The Movie...

No, I am not joking.

I guess I'd be a little upset if it weren't for the fact that it's being billed as a hardcore porno.

The Marmaduke Movie Will Be Out Soon!!!!!...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm talking fucking Marmaduke, ya'll!
Marma-to-the-fucking-duke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He on a surfboard, for Pete's sake!
And look!
He's wearing fucking sunglasses!

Goddamn, it's gonna be so fucking good.

I'm Fucking Lazy Today...

...so I'm going to recycle some old material. Just a word of warning upfront, this post contains graphic sexual content, so if that sort of thing offends you, stop reading now!

Back before I started blogging, I made up some tasteless phony movie "treatments" for former television shows on my MySpace page. They were borne out of a frustration with Hollywood's practice of turning old TV shows into awful feature films. I've posted a couple before (HERE and HERE). This is the one I did for "WKRP In Cincinnati":

OK, the logical first reaction is to put Bailey (Jan Smithers) & Jennifer (Loni Anderson) into some sort of sapphic situation. Too easy. Don't get me wrong. There certainly needs to be sufficient fleshing out (no pun intended) of this relationship. I envision some scenario whereby Herb (Frank Bonner) is inappropriate (i.e. sticks his finger in Jennifer's butt). Jennifer, obviously distraught, seeks solace in the arms of a trusted friend. After wandering the streets in the rain, a drenched Jennifer shows up at Bailey's apartment. Prior to her arrival, Bailey had been looking forward to a quiet night alone with her 15" black latex dildo and nipple clamps. Upon hearing a knock at the door, Bailey stuffs her apparatus under the sofa. "Can I come in?" queries Jennifer, wimpering, water dripping from her golden locks, "I had nowhere else to go." Bailey invites her in. "You're soaked!" she says, "let me get you some dry clothes." Bailey find a terrycloth robe as Jennifer starts to undress right in front of her. "This doesn't make you uncomfortable, does it?" Jennifer asks, "I figure it's just us girls here." Bailey, trying hard not to stare, is alarmed by the enormous areola Jennifer is sporting. She can't help but feel a tingle down in her nether-regions.

In no time Jennifer is bundled in her robe as the two sit drinking wine and commiserating about past relationships and what assholes guys can be. Jennifer, starting to feel the effects of the wine, lays her head on Bailey's lap and, in doing so, her robe parts just enough to provide glimpses of a thick carpet of pubic hair. Bailey becomes flush and wonders if Jennifer is aware of what she is doing to her. She decides she needs to go find some sort of release. "I was going to go run a bath. You're welcome to crash on the couch if you like..." Then, something comes over Bailey and without thinking she blurts out "...or you can join me." She is instantly shocked that she'd say something so risque to a co-worker and yet deep down is curious what Jennifer's reaction will be. Jennifer gets up, letting her robe fall to the ground, and says, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for an offer like that!" and proceeds to plant a light brush of a kiss on Bailey's lips as she walks past her towards the bathroom. Bailey quickly gathers up the dildo and clamps and follows her into the bathroom and, so, you get the picture. Oh, as for the plot. Umm. The WKRP gang works at the radio station by day and solves crimes by night. The End.