Fuck The Magic 8-Ball...

Are you tired of asking some dopey plastic ball what life has in store for you?  Don't trust your fortune-telling needs to some "toy".  If you're like me, you're way too busy to spend your time shaking an 8-ball, only to wait (and wait and wait and wait...) for the little triangle thingy to rise to the surface and reveal its answer.  You don't have time to dick around.  You need your fortune told - STAT!  Allow me to recommend the Fortune Teller Miracle Fish.  Timely, accurate fortunes for people on the go.  This little red rascal predicted the McKinley assassination AND that my cat would piss on the floor last night (like two feet away from the litter box.  Fucker.).  You've tried the rest, now buy the best.  Fortune Teller Miracle Fish.  Ask for it by name.

Obnoculars...

15 seconds of stupidity, coming up!

A Video Cavalcade Of Stupidity!...

So, it started with me wanting to make one of my riveting videos. It's about a make-believe towel phobia I have:



I know how much you all enjoy the outtakes, so I'm including the first take:



Then, I was interested to see the master in quarter-time:



This is some stray footage of a lame toad in our garden that was accidentally uploaded with the other shit:



There. That should keep you vultures satisfied for a little while at least.