The Future...

I've been concerned for some time that this blog is too focused on the past - that there's too much reminiscing. I want this to be a place where, yes, we can remember the past, but also look to the future. I want to strike a balance. I thought I'd start by taking a look at the evolution of a common everyday item - the pen. The pen has always been a sort of bellwether for where technology is taking us. I present to you now:

The pen had very simple origins
It started out as nothing more than a feather (or "quill)
and some black liquid (or "ink").

People didn't like the flimsiness of the feather and inconvenience of
carrying around a supply of ink, so we got the fountain pen.
Now, for the first time, everything was self-contained.

Still, when the pen ran dry, you had to refill it
which was messy and time consuming.
A man named Mordechai Bic changed all that when
he introduced the world to the first disposable pen.

People still weren't satisfied.
There was still something missing.
That something was porn.
Enter the stripper pen.

As the country entered the space race,
we knew we were falling behind the Russians
when it came to pen technology.
They had just come out with a combination pen/lint remover.
Our answer - the clock pen.

The next phase of pen technology is only limited by our imaginations.
Scientists are already hard at work on the world's first computer pen.
The question becomes: What's next?
Only time will tell what the future holds for our friend,
the pen.


SkylersDad said...

You missed the combination Pen/"facial massager" commonly found in the old Spencers gift catalog.

Anonymous said...

The stipper pen was by far the pinnacle of pen technology.

~E said...

How about the pen/lazer light/razor/clock/toenail clipper/switchblade???

4 easy payments of $19.95 from one of those late night infomercials!

Cora said...

Sadly, it won't matter how fancy/brilliant/helpful/sexy/lifesaving/yada yada yada the pens of the future are. I'm sure I'll still lose 'em all like the anti-klepto I am!

Mnmom said...

Will stores still tape plastic spoons to them??

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I'll never look at a pen the same way again.

Dr Zibbs said...

If you email me your address, I will send you the ultimate pen. No charge. (NOTE: this is for my good blog friend Some Guy if he chooses to take me up on this offer. It's not for all the sleezebags that want a free pen.)

Dad E said...

I believe Reynolds made the first ball point pen. It was about 10 inches long and was sold in a box similar to the old tinker toy boxes.

mixednut said...

I still want the pen that writes upside-down.

Anonymous said...

I had a clock pen in the early 80's, but i never liked it. I don't know why, it just seemed "weird" having a clock on your pen.

. said...

What about one with a special ink that turn unreadable writing(Who can read a doctor's recipe?Only who work in a pharmacy..or I hope so!)to a readable one..
..that would be good as well for student...

Miss Alex said...

I still want the Porn Pen. :D

Miss Alex said...

I still want the Porn Pen. :D

Anonymous said...

Wow, Miss Alex really wants that porn pen... ;^)

Anonymous said...

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