I forgot to mention - in St. Louis the kids are expected to tell jokes for their candy! Cool, no? It's an extravaganza of bad jokes. I think I'll keep a log of the best ones and post them tomorrow.
I will be sitting out drinking beer on my porch and handing the greedy asses candy. Anyone over 12 - not candy. This will be after hiding because my neighbors - 2 houses up - have 2 grown retarded kids and they always bring them the second it gets dark. Since I have a phobia of retarded people, I will be in the bathroom as soon as sun sets - letting my family get the door. When it's safe, I'll emerge.
One kid actually asked if I had anything else because he didn't like Snickers Bars, KitKats or Reese's Cups. The nerve! I should've given him a box of crappy raisins that we used to get from some neighbors as kids.
From the staff at Some Guy's Blog.
17 comments:
Excellent pumpkin! I actually hold the bucket and put the candy in their bags myself. Yes, I'm that mean lady on the block. Greedy little bastards.
Do you fake a kidney punch to the kids like I always do?
(Just kidding, I follow through single damn time. "Oops, sorry little mermaid! Was that your spleen?")
Is that your carving? If so, you have my serious respect. If not, you still have my respect, but you get a kidney punch, dude!
Excellent pumpkin!! How you can incorporate poo into a Halloween blog is sheer genius.
I'm with Gwen - I hand it out
Amazing... Yeah i'll bite off little fingers should they get near my candy. I HAND THAT SHIT OUT...IIII... meeeee....
I can't take credit for the pumpkin. I found it by searching for "pumpkin toilet". I will accept my kidney punch like a man.
Happy Halloween Chris & Megan!
Happy Halloween you two!
And I think your pumpkin needs some Metamucil..
I forgot to mention - in St. Louis the kids are expected to tell jokes for their candy! Cool, no? It's an extravaganza of bad jokes. I think I'll keep a log of the best ones and post them tomorrow.
Happy Hallllllloweeeen
got any Almond Joys?!?
I will be sitting out drinking beer on my porch and handing the greedy asses candy. Anyone over 12 - not candy. This will be after hiding because my neighbors - 2 houses up - have 2 grown retarded kids and they always bring them the second it gets dark. Since I have a phobia of retarded people, I will be in the bathroom as soon as sun sets - letting my family get the door. When it's safe, I'll emerge.
Oh Dr. Zibbs, I think I just wet my pants!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, punch the kids in their stomachs!
- Jennifer
Of course the jack-o-lantern is poo-themed. Why do I keep coming here?
Nice. I expected no less.
stop taking pictures of me!
hahahaha - that's some very creative pumpkin carving!
One kid actually asked if I had anything else because he didn't like Snickers Bars, KitKats or Reese's Cups. The nerve! I should've given him a box of crappy raisins that we used to get from some neighbors as kids.
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