Mr. Peebles...

Sam Peebles seemed like a happy guy.

And why wouldn't he be?
He was the owner of a pet shop,
one that did well enough to afford him
a desk, a phone, and some snappy clothes.
Mr. Peebles took pride in his appearance
and always kept himself impeccably groomed.

One day, Mr. Peebles world came crashing down around him.
His landlord decided not to renew his lease.
With real estate options being what they were,
Mr. Peebles would have no choice but to close his shop.

Mr. Peebles pleaded with the landlord,
begging him to reconsider.
He even sunk so low as to offer sexual favors
in exchange for another year's lease.
It was no use. Mr. Peebles decided to break
the bad news to Magilla.

WHAP!
Right as he walked in, Magilla nailed him
with a urine-soaked banana peel.
"Yo, Peebles, we need more bananas, you lazy fuck, " yelled Magilla.

Mr. Peebles was beside himself with anguish.
He was at his wit's end.
As he began his nightly closing ritual,
he wondered where it had all gone wrong.

As he swept up Magilla's shit, Mr. Peebles realized,
"It's his fault! That fucking stupid, freeloading gorilla!
God only knows what else he's gonna do to fuck with my life!"

Just then, as he was at his lowest point,
Mr. Peebles turned to find
the most handsome man he had ever seen
standing beside him.
He started to feel things deep inside.
Things that he had resisted for so long.
Their eyes locked and Mr. Peebles was under his spell.

Sadly, Mr. Peeble's crush was only using him
to get access to his one desire - Magilla.
He would shower him with gifts
and have his chauffeur drive them
around in fancy cars, flaunting it all in front
of poor Mr. Peebles.

I mean, that little dude was into some sick-ass shit
with that ape.

Anyway, Mr. Peebles was a shell.
He spent his days ogling young girls
on the street corner.

As they'd walk by, he'd hope for a lucky gust of wind.

Mr. Peebles was a sick fuck.
He had become the most degenerate
member of the community.

Then his alarm went off.
"Fuckin' A!" he thought,
"Must've been that burrito I ate."