2/05/2008

Go-Go Gophers...

Watch 'em go go go!

For as riddled with negative Native American stereotypes
as this show was, at least it always ended with the gophers
coming out on top.
If anything, it was more of a slam on the
leadership abilities of Teddy Roosevelt.


Edited to add: If you are the person from Norman, Oklahoma who checks this post on a daily basis, could you leave a comment or send an e-mail to the address found in my profile to explain why. You come up on my SiteTracker and I'm just really curious why you check this post with such frequency.

Stress...

I was going to write a post about how I'm feeling slightly stressed about some stuff right now. I did a Google image search for "stress" and this picture popped up.

Oddly, I don't feel as stressed anymore.

2/04/2008

One Of Chicago's Charms...

Saving parking spots with lawn furniture after a big snow.

2/02/2008

Documentary Film Of The Day: The King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters...

If you have Netflix, immediately put this movie at the top of your queue. If not, go to your local movie rental store and pick this up. I remember reading about it at the Traverse City Film Festival and it just came out on DVD. It's just really, really good for a whole bunch of reasons. You will thank me.

1/31/2008

I Gotta Hurry...


Splotchy says I have to finish this meme before midnight tonight or someone dies or something, so here 'tis:

Give me 1 noun, 2 verbs and 3 adjectives you like.
You can also provide an optional made-up word.

Mine are:

Noun: pablum
Verbs: schlep, question
Adjectives: sweaty, troglodytic, sacrosanct
Made-up word: qluj

Hey! Buttface!...

You're A Very Generous Individual...

My Friend?...

I think I posted something about this before, so if it's a rerun, my apologies.

John McCain has this annoying habit of adding "my friend" or "my friends" to everything he says. For instance, he might say to Gov. Romney, "You, my friend, are a lying sack of turkey shit." Or to anyone who happens to be watching him at any particular moment, he might say, "Let me tell you, my friends, we're gonna stay in Iraq until every person on this planet hates us and you're gonna like it!" He says it constantly and it comes off as completely disingenuous.

Senator, I'm pretty sure Mr. Romney is not your friend. I can't tell you I am definitely not your friend. For me, in order to consider someone a friend, I have to, at a minimum, share some sort of ongoing interaction. Meeting in person would help, but it's not essential. I have learned through this blog that you can have friends that you may not necessarily ever meet.

So, until you're ready to start commenting on this blog, or e-mailing me, or talking to me on the phone, stop calling me your fucking friend. You sound like a dick.

1/30/2008

Snow Day!...

That is a lot of fucking snow!

We didn't get quite that much,
but with wind gusts up to 50 mph,
icy roads,
and temps in the single digits
we are staying home.
Megan's bookstore
called earlier and told her not to come in.
I work for myself so I told me not to come in.

It's 10:00 AM.
Should I have a beer?

9-11...

Guess who got "nine-elevened"?

Nice campaign, Rudy.

Oh, and one more thing...





9-11.

1/29/2008

For Lulu And Chaylene...

...and other fellow bacon-lovers.
A recipe for bacon-flavored vodka.
Click HERE.



1/28/2008

Do You Guys Realize...

Noonan was once nominated for an Oscar?
(Bonus points if you know the movie.)


Spaulding, on the other hand,
was never nominated for an Oscar.
Why, I have no idea.

Happy Monday, Everyone!...

I hope it's a humdinger!

1/27/2008

Documentary Film Of The Day: The Gleaners And I...

"The Gleaners And I" by Agnes Varda is a neat, slightly weird look at various types of scavenging, whether it be out of necessity, enjoyment, or some sort of ethical stance. It's French and subtitled, in case there are those who can't handle that sort of thing. I quite liked this one.

Those of you who read my documentary posts may notice that I don't really give too much in the way of a critique. For me, there is a very simple threshold for whether I recommend a movie or not - when I'm done, do I feel like it was worth watching? I don't feel the need to dissect films and examine all the subtleties and symbolism. I will if it's part of a conversation or something, but the analysis doesn't enhance the experience for me all that much. If I feel like my time was well spent watching it and it made me feel good or more knowledgeable on some level, that's good enough for me. That goes for all art forms, I suppose.

1/26/2008

Don't Read This Post....

It's stupid.

I'm gonna go state by state and see if I can remember each of their Senators. Here are my guesses:

Maine: I think it's Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins, both (R).
New Hampshire: Don't Know. One might be D'Amato (R)
Vermont: I know one is Bernie Sanders (I) and I think the other is Jim Jeffords. I think he was originally a (R), but may now be (I). Those crazy Vermonters!
Mass.: Ted Kennedy and John Kerry, both (D), both (D)
New York: Chuck Schumer and Hillary Clinton
Conn.: Chris Dodd (D) and Joe Lieberman (?)
R.I.: I think the Sr. is Jack Reed and the Jr. is Sheldon Whitehouse, both (D)
New Jersey: Is one Frank Lautenberg (D)? The other one I'll know when I hear.
Del.: Joe Biden and Ben Cardin, both (D)
MD: Damn, I can't remember.
VA: John Warner (R) and Jim Webb(D)
NC: Crap, can't remember. Oh, wait. I was working on TX and I remember that one is Elizabeth Dole (R). Maybe.
SC: Nope. One might be Saxby Chambliss (R), but he might be from GA. One might be Lindsey Graham (R).
GA: See above. I don't know the other one.
FL: I think one's name is Criss, and I can picture the other guy (D), but don't know his name, maybe Graham (R).
Penn.: One is Arlen Specter (R) and the other?
WV: Robert Byrd and Jay Rockefeller, both (D)
KY: Mitch McConnell and Jim Bunning, both (R)
TN: The one guy's name starts with a C and he's (R). The other I forget.
Ala.: Richard Shelby (R)? Not sure, though.
Miss.: Trent Lott and Haley Barbour (It took me a while to remember this one), both (R).
LA: I forget.
Ark.: I forget, but I bet they're (R).
Ind.: Richard Lugar (R) and Evan Bayh (D).
OH: Sherrod Brown (D) and I forget the other.
Mich.: Carl Levin and Debbie Stabenow, both (D)
IL: Dick Durbin and Barack Obama, both (D)
Wisc.: Herb Kohl (I think) and Russ Feingold, both (D)
Minn.: One is Norm Coleman (R), the other is a woman (D), but I forget her name.
IA: Tom Harkin (D) and I think Charles Grassley (R).
MO: Claire MC Caskill (D) and I forget the other, but I think it's a male (R).
TX: Kay Bailey Hutchinson and John Cornyn, both (R). Fuckin' Texas...
Okla.: You know when you have to snap your fingers to remember a name. I had to to remember...FUCK...I can picture his weasel (R) face. He's a big dick. I'll come back to this one. Oh yeah, James Inhofe (R), but he might be from Kansas.
KS: Pat Roberts (R) and I know the other is a (R) asshole.
Nebr.: Chuck Hagel (R) and I think Ben Nelson (D).
SDak: Tim Johnson (D) and the other is a (R).
NDak: Sorry, North Dakota.
Mont: One is a (D) who was recently elected, big guy... The other I forget.
WY: Nope.
Colo: I think one is Ken Salazar (D). The other might be a (R).
NM: Pete Domenici (R) and I forget the other.
Ariz.: John McCain and John Kyl, both (R).
Cal.: Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer, both (D).
UT: Orrin Hatch (R) is one. Don't know the other.
NV: Harry Reid (D). I forget the other.
ID: I got nothing. Wait, one might be Mike Enzi (R).
WA: Don't know.
OR: Nothing.
AK: Ted "Series of tubes" Stevens (R), my most despised senator. The other is a woman (R) whose name ends in -sky.
HI: Daniel Inouye (D) is one. I forget the others.

1/24/2008

Do Me A Favor...


Watch this:


Then read THIS LINK and listen to the audio.

Then
Listen to this

Man, what a hateful dick.

I mean, I'm all for humor that's in poor taste.
Unfortunately for John, he left out the humor part.
I've had a beef with this fuck before...



Profundity...

I have the urge to write a really profound post.
Something erudite,
with a bunch of important-sounding words
(words like erudite).
It would be about the mysteries of the universe
or ways to solve difficult societal problems.
Unfortunately, I don't have the patience
or the creative juice to make it happen right now.
So, instead, I'll post a dopey picture of
a turkey with tan lines:

1/22/2008

One Of The Things I Like About Blogs...

Every once in a while I'll go back a few posts
and do a little quality control - check for spelling and grammatical errors.
I'm a big fucking nerd.
The nice part is revisiting cool ideas, THIS ONE came from Splotchy.

Did Y'All Notice...

I've started labeling my posts.

Look at me! Whee!


It Does?...


I think a more accurate slogan would be
"America Sits On The Couch
And Uses A Rake
To Retrieve The Remote Lying On The Floor
So They Don't Have To Get Up
On Dunkin"



1/21/2008

Allan Melvin, R.I.P....

America's butcher.
Feb. 18, 1922-Jan. 17, 2008

He was also the voice of Magilla Gorilla.

1/20/2008

I'm Curious...

Does Chuck Norris go to the fucking bathroom with Mike Huckabee?

Every time I see these two, they're together.

Oh, and for all you who think those
Chuck Norris Facts are cute and clever,
here's another one for you:

FACT
Chuck Norris is dumb
because he's committed himself to getting
Mike Freaking Huckabee
elected president.

Ski Report, Jan. 19-20...

Cold. Really motherfucking cold.
And snow. Lots of fucking snow.



*Picture is a dramatization. It's not me, but I was sporting some beardsicles at various points during the weekend.