For My Canadian Readers...

I have been very vocal on this blog about my affection towards Canada. I even put it on my "Love List" right after pork bbq. I have always enjoyed my travels to your beautiful country. I am grateful to have gotten to know so many of you through this blog. So, it is out of love that I ask you:

How is it you people are still alive?

All we hear down here in Jesusland is how shoddy and antiquated your health care system is. We have been told that your standard protocol for treatment of bone fractures is immediate amputation with a rusty butter knife while anesthesia is administered with a dull hockey stick blade. As we understand it, you still haven't conquered the most rudimentary of afflictions - things like polio and athlete's foot. They tell us you still practice bloodletting for heaven's sake!

So how do you guys do it? How do you manage to type out your blogs without coating your keyboards with the phlegm and blood you are no doubt hacking up continuously throughout the day. Take your time. I know that your fingertips are covered in sores and that typing can make you winded.