How Things Change...

I've come to a point in my life where
I'm not going to be disappointed if
someone gets me a nose hair trimmer
for Christmas.

However, if someone does decide to
get me one,
I want one that's gasoline-powered,
like a lawnmower.

And you should pull a cord to start it.

And it should have a catcher so that
I can bag the clippings.

And it should be adorned with rhinestones
that spell out "Sexy Bitch".


Anonymous said...

Well, I'll get you one of those for winning your award from Grant Miller. Bag to catch the clippings? Eeww!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Damn it, who told you what I was getting you for Christmas?

SkylersDad said...

I stuffed a throw pillow on my couch with all of my clippings!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

My husband, well groomed and dapper man that he is, asked for a new one last year. I hadn't been aware there was an old one. I thought this nostrils were naturally tidy. He continues to believe my hair is naturally blonde. (The hair on my head.)

Dr. Zaius said...

I think that the rhinestones should spell out "Born to Clip Nose Hair." It is less provacative, and the message is clearer. Rhinestones that spell out "Sexy Bitch" should go on the toaster, where they belong.

Anonymous said...

nose hair is not bad, but when you have to cut the hair in your EAR? Then you have issues.

Teri said...

you make me laugh!