Another Suggestion For Hollywood...

I've noticed that Hollywood has never shied away from turning
television cartoons into live-action motion pictures.
I'm thinking of movies like The Flintstones, Scooby-Doo,
and Fat Albert. I wonder why they've never tried doing
the opposite - adapting live action television shows for the big screen,
but replacing the human actors with cartoon characters.
There are a ton of shows this could work for.
Like, how about Barney Miller?
Ron Harris (Ron Glass) could be played by:

Hair Bear

Nick Yemana (Jack Soo) could be played by:


Stan "Wojo" Wojciehowicz (Max Gail) could be played by:
Atom Ant

Phil Fish (Abe Vigoda) could be played by:

Herbert The Pervert

and Barney Miller (Hal Linden) could be played by:

Cap'n Crunch

I'm open to suggestions for who would play
Steve Landesberg's character.

Added Bonus! The theme to this show rivals the theme from The Rockford Files for the stone-grooviest TV theme ever. Enjoy!
Barney Miller Opening Theme - The funniest bloopers are right here


Anonymous said...

I come out on the side of the Rockford Files theme, I think.

I agree with your choices for cartoon characters.

Steve Landesberg... maybe Velma.

Cap'n Ergo "XL+II" Jinglebollocks said...

Goddamnit, Gump! That's goddamned funny!! You must have a goddamned IQ of 300 to think of Adam Ant!!

Shit, you make me look bad-- the stuff I come up with just ain't funny compared 2-U.

Barney Miller. Didn't ALL the action of the show take place in those 1-2 rooms?? My mom LOVED B.M. and when I asked her what was so grand about it she said, "the writing. The way the characters interact with each other and the things they say."

right 'round then was probably when I started writing a whole helluva lot...

Joe said...

without a doubt the best police show on tv, ever.

mixednut said...

Being a huge Barney Miller fan, I loved this post. Funny as hell.

Reminds me... is BM on DVD yet?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I loved Barney Miller.

Distributorcap said...


you are a friggin riot!

Anonymous said...

I think someone may have too much time on their hands. . .

Anonymous said...

Steve Landesberg was so laid back, he could be played by Dopey. And what about Ron Carey? He played Officer Levitt, with the short guy complex. My vote's for Rocky the Squirrel.

SkylersDad said...

Fish played by Herbert the Pervert? That is just fucking wonderful casting Chris!

Steve Landesberg could be played by Snaggletooth. "Sufferin succotash!" "Exit stage left..."

Pavel Chekov said...

I was always kind of partial to the theme song from SWAT.

Moderator said...

Between Vikkitikkitavi, my deceased Aunt Pam and I, we've met every cast member from "Barney Miller."

But for the sake of the story, I'm going to say I'm best friends with the cast from "Barney Miller."

Dale said...

Brilliant recasting, the theme is funky beyond!

Writeprocrastinator said...

You are a casting god, plain and simple.

"I'm open to suggestions for who would play Steve Landesberg's character."

The "Brain" from "Pinky And The Brain."

Ms. Laaw-yuhr said...

Man that theme song is groovy!

bubbles said...

Funny casting! I liked the theme song, too. I also LOVED the Rockford Files, but can't remember the tune!