My New Million-$ Idea...

Blogger trading cards.

Come on, people! It can't miss!

I've heard there are certain baseball cards worth like 73 million dollars! Even if mine sold for 1/73 of that, I'd still be a millionaire! Here's the plan:

1. Everyone make their own personalized trading card HERE. Be creative. If you can find a cooler trading card generator online, use it. I didn't have a lot of time to go searching for the best one like some of you nerds.
2. Post your trading card on your blog.
3. Print out maybe twenty of them on decent card stock. Trade ten of them with your favorite bloggers (I can hear it now. "I'll trade you two Grant Millers for a Dick Small!") and keep the other ten for yourself. Keep those remaining ten in a secure, dry place. These will be your meal ticket some day.
4. Wait fifty years.

Now, after fifty years, the fact that there are such limited quantities of these cards will excite collectors like you wouldn't believe! It won't matter that they don't know who the fuck any of us are. All they care about is how rare the card is. Cha-ching! (That's the sound a cash register makes when it opens so that we can put all our money into it!)

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that if we post our trading cards on our blogs, any schmuck with a printer could reproduce thousands of them, thus reducing their value. I've considered this, but decided that it shouldn't be a problem since most people are lazy. Believe me, I've thought of everything.

I'm telling you right now. Cash in your 401Ks and your IRAs, everyone. You won't need them. This is your new retirement plan. Here's mine: