Everyone knows how much I hate wasps and yellow jackets. Earlier this summer, Megan bought this trap for $9.99. I had my doubts about how it would work, but I was pleasantly surprised. They are attracted by a scented cotton-ball, fly in, but can't fly out. As you can see, we caught a shitload of these little bastards, something I'm sure will have the PETA people all over my ass. I decided to empty out the trap yesterday and tally up just how many got nabbed. There were 48 whole ones and a few bits and pieces of the others. I decided to honor their wretched lives by naming them:

  1. Bitsy
  2. Mitzi
  3. Waspy
  4. T.J. Hooker
  5. Greg
  6. Inky
  7. Blinky
  8. Stinky
  9. Skidamarinky
  10. Snoopy
  11. Prickly Pete
  12. Leonid Brezhnev
  13. Tito
  14. Jermaine
  15. Jackie
  16. Randy
  17. Cheesy Gordita Crunch
  18. Johnny Big Nose
  19. Mongo
  20. Pax
  21. Shiloh
  22. Suri
  23. Manolete
  24. Pantuflas
  25. Billy Clyde Tuggle
  26. "The Dude"
  27. Walter Sobchak
  28. Lightnin' Hopkins
  29. Elmore James
  30. T-Bone Walker
  31. Fart-breath
  32. Pookie
  33. Schnookums
  34. Gargamel
  35. Azreal
  36. Snowball
  37. Waspy Jr.
  38. Old Man Gigglesnort
  39. Dirty Dragon
  40. Dick Ruthven
  41. Dick Tidrow
  42. Steve Ontiveros
  43. "The Gooch"
  44. Boner Stabone
  45. Booger
  46. Bob Loblaw
  47. Charles
  48. Chachi Arcola


Jen said...

and T-Bone Walker
both - too young to die

they will be missed

Dr Zibbs said...

What about Boner Stabone?...Oh..you already thought of that.

Anonymous said...

The wasps, yellow jackets & bees here in LA are totally chill. We get a lot of them in our yard, but they never bother us. We live in complete harmony with them. There ain't no skeeters either!
It's a magical land...really.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad Fritzi and Titzi escaped your death camp.

Not really. I've hated those little bastards ever since one crawled up my shorts and bit a chunk of my thigh off.

Falwless said...

I'm laughing too hard to comment. This is, at once, the dumbest and most awesomest post ever.

Micgar said...

Fart breath? Ouch! I bet he/she had a hell of a sting!

vikkitikkitavi said...

You are the king of naming, my friend.

Distributorcap said...

you didnt name one after Condi?