8/24/2007

Violence In Commercials...

I noticed recently that the old Pace Picante ad campaign has been revived. The crux is that Pace is made in San Antonio and, thus, is superior to other salsas, especially those made in an elite, effete place like the Northeast. The new ads are slightly different from the ones made during the 1980s. Some of you might remember them. There were a bunch of cowboys sitting around a campfire, eating salsa. I think they run out of Pace and the cook gives them some other brand they don't recognize. One of them discovers that - gasp! - it's made in New York City! Then, one of the disgruntled cowboys tells another to "git a rope".

Now, the implication here is that the other cowboys are going to use the rope to do one of two things, either execute the cook or restrain him in some way as punishment for his trangression. Let's address the latter first. I doubt very much that this cook is going to be real pleased with being hog-tied just because he happened to buy the wrong salsa. One would think that eventually they're going to have to let him loose if they want him to prepare their meals. From what I understand about cowboys, they often carry guns. I could see it turning into a real bloodbath if this cook has a short temper. Plus, if they did leave him tied up, isn't it going to be a real pain in the ass to compensate for the loss of one of your crew? Who is going to drive his chuckwagon and prepare the meals? Are the other cowboys ready to pick up the slack? Haven't they got enough on their plate trying to move the cattle from one place to another?

Many of the same problems crop up if the rope was intended to be used to hang the cook. I mean, seriously, is it worth risking a murder rap over some sub-par salsa? I just don't think these cowboys have thought this through. Besides, when you look at it in a broader sense, don't you think they should just eat the fucking New York salsa and be grateful? There are people digging through dumpsters for a fucking rotten apple core and these assholes are gonna bitch about the brand of salsa? I'm sure the New York shit has the same nutrients as the other one. Who's being effete now? "Ooo, I can't eat the New York salsa. It doesn't taste as good. I'm a big baby." Fucking pussy-ass cowboys. I thought they were supposed to be tough. Just eat what's in front of you and quit yer whining! Christ!

Is it me or am I overthinking this?

12 comments:

Geo said...

Plus, Pace Picante Sauce sucks. Like ketchup (or catsup, if you prefer) that some bandito sneezed in.

Catherinette Singleton said...

That's just what happened in the Old West if you had the wrong salsa. They wanted an accurate portrayal of what would have happened back in those days.

Skylers Dad said...

Obviously you have never experienced sub-par salsa Chris. There are few things in life that are worth taking another mans life for...

Flannery Alden said...

You may be overthinking this...

cooper green said...

When Pace pays for a 30-second ad, they expect half the audience to be in the pooper (award, please), another 30% to be getting a beer, and the rest to be pushing the mute button. Not Chris. He's sitting there watching, digesting the story line, creating alternate ending scenarios, speculating on the outcome of this gripping drama... Chris, you are the advertiser's dream guy.

Dave said...

They're gonna go Brokeback on his ass.

Big Orange said...

shit, cowboys will eat anything. it's all an illusion.

Big Orange said...

FLANN: what might happen if Chris and I got together on an evening with a lot of beer??

lulu said...

I'm with geo, Pace sucks.

Dale said...

The rope is for the auto-erotic asphyxiation they're all into. No salsa? Gotta pass the time somehow.

'Bubbles' said...

Between the cleverness of the post and the funniness of the comments... my original comment is lame-o!

Funny post, Chris!!

Please, overthink some more stuff! It's fun!

Micgar said...

I'm with bubbles, Chris. It may be overthinking this ad through, but it is funnier 'n shit!
I want more ad analyses!