I don't know if they still do it, but, back in the day, Taco Bell used to boast of the fact that they used real "Queso" cheese in their menu items. Now, anyone who took a minimal amount of Spanish in school (or has eaten in a Mexican restaurant) knows how stupid this claim is. "Queso" means cheese.So now, whenever Megan is making a dish with cheese in it (which is often), I ask her if she is using real "Queso" cheese. I've asked it enough at this point that she knows it's coming. She bemoans the fact that it wasn't even really that funny the first time as I laugh and laugh.
I have other "anti-jokes" I use repeatedly. Like, if there is the slightest wisp of a cloud in the sky, I'll always say "I don't like the looks of those clouds", as if it could start raining at any moment. She's on to that one as well.
16 comments:
Damn, she's wily. She sounds a lot like my longsuffering, oops I mean, adoring girlfriend.
I think my wife would hate your jokes too since she also hates mine.
I'm not sure if you can use this, but I often see signs or menus boasting "Hot Panini Sandwiches."
Panini = hot sandwich in Italian.
Taco Bell also boiled all their meat in giant greasy bags. Enjoy.
My dad passed on a rich tradition of bad humor to me also. One of his favorites was whenever somebody would say "It's sure nice out" dad would always come back with "I think I'll leave it out".
No shit, I am not making this up!
My dad and yours would have gotten along famously, SD.
Dad: You want something to drink?
Me: No, I'm good.
Dad: I know you're good, but would you like something to drink?
Me: [death stare]
I'm going to start using using that "queso" cheese thing as my own.
Grant Miller: I laughed so hard at your entry that my mascara has run down my face. I hope you are satisfied.
A typical conversation:
Chris: I just have one question about that cheese dip you're making. . .
Megan: *sigh* Yes, honey, it is REAL queso cheese. *sigh*
Chris: *unwarranted laughter*
Whenever Flannery and I would sit down to watch a movie at home and the disclaimer comes up "This film has been modified to fit your T.V.", she always says "Oh, our t.v.?", to which I respond "I hope we didn't have to pay extra for that". It is a dumb gag, but something of a family tradition.
Doc
Oh man. I know I have a lot of those jokes based on the eye-rolling and groaning I get from my bride and daughters, but I've become so obtuse I can't remember what any of them are.
Whenever Spooney says he's going to "jump in the shower," which, by the way, is every single time he showers, I always say "Don't jump in the shower. It's dangerous."
After 3 years I still get him about 40% of the time.
I even have an acronym for it at my house; PMH which stands for Predictable Male Humor. As in:
SV: Hey, while you're up, will you get me a beer?
GKL: (sitting on the couch) Are you PMH'ing again? Get your own damn beer!
GKL: (waits 'til he's up) Hey, while you're up...
Lessee... i'm fond of reminding my wife that polar bears get a neurodegenerational disorder that's similar to Alzheimers...
And that they have black skin. She's heard that a million times.
I always like the ol' George Carlin standby:
"when someone tells me, 'have a good one!' I always say, 'I already HAVE a good one!! Now I'm looking for a LONGER one!!'"
Wait until you and your boss are in the washroom together. Take the urinal next to his. Say nothing, until it's getting uncomfortable. Then, too loud, tell him, "I told my wife I was going to have it out with the boss today. Guess what? HAHAHAHA!"
(The hahaha part is really important. It's even more important to zip and leave immediately, even if you're still peeing).
vikkitikkitavi said...
Whenever Spooney says he's going to "jump in the shower," which, by the way, is every single time he showers, I always say "Don't jump in the shower. It's dangerous."
After 3 years I still get him about 40% of the time.
shhhhhh, don't tell her, but I let her get me on that one 100% of the time. Plus, I don't shower very often anyways.
Spooney lies. Except the part about not showering very often.
That's rich. Me and my wife have similar interactions. Or, I should say, there are things I subject my wife to that she learns to live with.
For no reason, whenever she is on the computer, I walk into the room and say, in a high pitch voice, "Whata ya doin!"
Isn't great to have those little quirks with someone that tolerates them, and sometimes even chuckles?
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