6/27/2007

Things Were Looking Up...

Just when I thought my political malaise would render me useless and preclude me from providing you with the comedy you so richly deserve, I was heartened to learn that none other than comic legend Gallagher was headed to Northern Michigan for a one-night only appearance this Friday in Cheboygan. If ever there was a cure for the blues, it's Gallagher and his giant hammer, "Sledge-O-Matic". Anyone who can make a career out of smashing produce for thirty years and having people laugh at it has got to be a comic genius.

You can imagine my dismay when I found out that it's billed as a "No Sledge" show. WHAT!? No Sledge! Are you fucking kidding? That's like Jack Benny without his violin or Carrot Top without his steroids. Where's the fun in that? Does he just get up on stage and stand there? I already bought a brand new poncho just for the occasion.

So, I guess it's back to sulking. Fucking Gallagher...

15 comments:

Teri said...

what? no sledge hammer?

I agree with you, what's the point?

Splotchy said...

If you feel disappointed, imagine how Gallagher feels having to drag around a sledgehammer for 30 years, crushing defenseless fruit.

It sounds like a punishment out of Greek mythology.

cheer34 said...

He doesn't look so good in the photo. I think all the fun has gone out of his routine for him. He can't be Gallagher if doesn't have a sledgehammer.

Flannery Alden said...

It's just like when Arthur Conan Doyle killed off Sherlock Holmes.

Skylers Dad said...

Go to the concert anyway and wear a black armband with a watermelon on it.

Frank Sirmarco said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frank Sirmarco said...

Are you sure it's not his twin brother Gallagher 2 (whom he sold his persona and show), or better, Black Gallagher...

"The Sun is a long way from Earth, people...but I'm still HOT!"

Zed said...

I've said it once and I'll say it again. You just can't trust Gallagher.

lulu said...

I find the idea of you trying to get megan to a Gallagher show most entertaining.

K.I.D. said...

Dude, that's like Big Country coming Cheboygan and not performing their smash hit, "Big Country".

What a effing gyp.

Amy said...

Yes, I don't understand how this show can happen.

You are still going? You'll have to fill us all in on how Gallagher performs without the sledge-o-matic. I just can't see it.

Big Orange said...

wow. I'm 100% convinced The Patriot Act is to blame-- someone's afraid he'll put a suicide bomb in a melon, or something...

Frank-- that sun comment had me laffin' my ASS off!! Of course, I'm sleep deprived...

Chris said...

Just for the record, I will not, nor did I ever intend to, attend Gallagher's concert. It just happened to dovetail nicely with my posts yesterday.

vikkitikkitavi said...

I worked in a bar in the 80s where the boss was a HUGE Gallagher fan. Yeah, imagine how lame a HUGE Gallagher fan would be. That was my boss. He would bring in Gallagher videos and put them on the big screen tv in the bar. It was horrible.

Remember in 40-year-old-Virgin how the boss in the electronics store is constantly playing that Michael McDonald video? First of all, hilarious and beautifully played by awesome Chicago actress Jane Lynch. Secondly, even the supremely heinous Michael McDonald would have been preferable to endless hours of Gallagher.

Johnny Yen said...

A few years ago, a friend of mine was walking through downtown San Francisco, and he came upon Gallagher handing out one dollar bills in front of a Bank of America branch. The security people were going nuts, but since he was on public property (the sidewalk), they couldn't do anything about it. My friend did get Gallagher to autograph a dollar bill for me.