6/12/2007

I've Heard All I Need To Hear...

Will you people with your dinosaur fossils and your "scientific data" knock it off with all this evolution bunk. I ain't buying it.

The only science book (or any book, for that matter) that I need is the B-I-B-L-E. That's the book for me! Everything in it is verified fucking fact. I know this because God wrote it. Duh!

15 comments:

Johnny Yen said...

Well, yeah... duhhhhh!

I learned as a youngster growing up in an atheist family not to argue with bible-thumpers. They couldn't get the cyclical nature of their argument. Whenever you suggested that the bible may have just been some guy wrote, they'd point out "Oh, but the bible has an answer to that..."

"Some guy" wrote it-- does that mean you wrote it, Chris?

Skylers Dad said...

I always imagine that scene in Life of Brian where they are listening to the sermon on the mount, but are too far away to hear it correctly. So they just guess at what was being said!

I imagine that is a lot of how the bible was written...

GETkristiLOVE said...

That's why they call it THE book... sssccchyaaa.

Jen said...

and the earth is only
6,000 years old!!!
isn't it obvious....!

science... pffffft~

Big Orange (a.k.a. "Uncle Moonpie") said...

I've already warned you people not to pick up sticks on a Saturday, but already the reports have been comin' in of people being stoned to death for not reading that thing.

Don't blame ME when someone starts throwing rocks at your head.

SKY DAD: "all I said was that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!!"

10,000 Spoons said...

wait a second!! I've always been taught that God TALKED to people and TOLD them what to write and that HE didn't write it Himself!!

Blasphemy!! Someone throw a rock at Some Guy's head!! I'm busy right now.

10,000 Spoons said...

Pssst!! Where does Joe Smith come into all of this, Chris??

mixednut said...

You're probably going to tell the earth is round too.
Ahhh-no. I know better.

Spooney said...

People who swear by every word in the bible & don't believe in evolution are frightened little bunnies living in denial.

Dick Small said...

I believe in the Bible. I love God and I love Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I wouldn't have made it through certain things in my life without it. God has been very good to me.

Big Orange (a.k.a. "Uncle Moonpie") said...

Dick, I think your comment goes to the heart of the matter: the problem isn't inherently with GOD, it's with HUMAN INTERPRETATION of written texts. Religion would be so much better if we could just take those pesky PEOPLE out of the equation...

Of course, doing THAT would solve a LOT more problems than just this one.

Dick Small said...

I still love the bible. I believe it to be true.

Frank Sirmarco said...

Isn't there a LeBron James version of the Bible?

What, does Jesus drop 40 on the Pharisees at some point?

cheer34 said...

I have always wanted to get Eve's side of the apple story. After all there are two sides to every story, right?

Johnny Yen said...

Three, actually, according to noted philospher Jimmy Buffet-- his, hers and the cold, hard truth.