6/20/2007

The Orator...


While visiting Thomas Jefferson's University Of Virginia Rotunda, I was inspired to give an impassioned speech about the fragility of our nation's democracy. I spoke at length about how we as citizens must be vigilant in order to prevent tyranny and despotism. I explained how we must be prepared to lay down our lives for the preservation of liberty and justice.

Then some sweaty dude with a fanny-pack and a bottle of Pink Lemonade Snapple told me to shut the hell up and that I was ruining his vacation. I felt bad, so I left and tried to find a decent putt-putt golf course.

18 comments:

Johnny Yen said...

I'm surprised that the FBI and Department of Homeland Security didn't swoop down on you, with your sedicious, inflammatory rhetoric.

Bubs said...

You should have clamped down on that podium and yelled "FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS!" Fanny pack might have been inspired at that point.

Big Orange said...

Damn Fanny Packs. This sort of shit never happened to Lincoln, or Paine, or Adams, or Franklin. My, how the whole works have gone down the shitter in only 231 years. I blame television. Flannery blames Mel Gibson.

Flannery Alden said...

Actually, I blame fanny packs.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

I think I know that podium well - I've also got a photo posing behind it.

Valerie said...

a dude with a fanny pack?

sad.

so sad.

cheer34 said...

What ever happened to freedom of speech?

The fanny pack would have ruined anyone's vacation. Did he have white socks on with sandles? And a T-shirt that says "I'm with stupid"?

vikkitikkitavi said...

If only you'd told him to lay down his fanny pack for the preservation of liberty and justice.

Frank Sirmarco said...

Is Megan behind the podium as well (nudge, nudge, wink, wink)?

Big Orange said...

Frank-- sho' she is; why do you think his mouth is open so wide? He's sayin' "WHOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOHH!!"

GETkristiLOVE said...

I'm just appalled by that guy. Men shouldn't wear fanny packs!!!

My apologies to SkyDad if he reads this.

Flannery Alden said...

No one should wear fanny packs.

mixednut said...

You should've sent his fanny a-packin'.

K.I.D. said...

You fucking would ruin Mr. Middle-America's vacation.

Fucking bastard.

'Bubbles' said...

Did you find a good mini golf course? If you did, I'll bet you saw a few more of those stylish fanny packs.

Eric Riback said...

I don't remember any good putt putt courses in Charlottesville.

Doc said...

I'm certain that Thomas Jefferson smiled from the great beyond to see that at least someone still holds true to the values he helped establish here in the land of the free. I would love to hear/read the speech, if you get the chance.

Doc

Grant Miller said...

Now you've ruined my vacation, too.