I have this neighbor. His name is Freedom Jones. Yeah, I know. It's a pretty unusual name. Anyway, I have one of these "Gorilla Ladders". It's really nice. It's versatile. You can use it as a step ladder or an extension ladder or even modify it to use as scaffolding. Freedom asked to borrow it one day. I told him, "Sure, use it whenever you like." After all, I strive to be neighborly. Now, maybe this was my first mistake. I mean, I said this assuming that he'd return it when he was finished AND that it'd be returned in the same condition as when he borrowed it. Well, he NEVER fucking returns it without me having to ask him. Plus, last time I got it back it was all sticky, like his kids had been eating Popsicles and gotten them all over their hands and rubbed them all over my fucking ladder! Gross! On top of all this, his goddamn dog barks constantly and shits all over my yard.
I can't stand Freedom. In fact, I think I hate Freedom. He was OK at first, but now he's a total prick.