A "Clerks" Moment...
Those of you who have worked as a clerk in a gas station, convenience store, or have at least seen Kevin Smith's movie "Clerks" (the original one) know that these types of jobs can be the source of much hilarity. Back in the early nineties, between college and my first "real" job, I worked at Dick's Phillips 66 in Elmhurst, IL. I worked with a guy named Dan Konopka, currently the drummer for the band "OK Go" (Check out their kick-ass new video, link courtesy of the "Bells On" blog). The gas station did not have a convenience store like most nowadays, but we did sell pop, candy, and the cheapest smokes in town ($1.87 at the time). There was always only one of us working at any given time and the bathroom was on the side of the shop and required a key. One evening, towards the end of my shift, Dan showed up and asked if he could have to key so he could use the bathroom before I took off. He soon came back, asking if anyone else had used the bathroom that day. "Yeah, there was one guy", I said.
"Did he have a beard and look sort of like a lumberjack?" Dan asked
"Yeah, he did. Why do you ask?"
"Check this out."
Dan took me back to the bathroom and showed me. This guy had taken a massive, heaping dump on the floor in the opposite corner from the toilet. Then, for good measure, he had rammed the toilet paper roll into the bottom of the bowl. As he grabbed a shovel, Dan informed me that this guy had done this before. There was nothing suspicious about him at the time and he didn't seem pissed off in any way. God only knows how many gas stations this guy has struck around the country.