9/21/2007

A Really Arcane Post...

Did any of you watch the Nickelodeon show "Double Dare"? For those of you who didn't, it was basically a kid's game show produced by middle-aged men with food fetishes. The contestants would answer a series of insultingly easy questions (to keep it competitive, they selected THE dumbest kids to compete that they could find), they'd compete in "physical challenges (i.e.: excuses to dump food and goop on the kids), and the winners would do an obstacle course where they'd collect flags which represented prizes. The further they got, the more valuable the prizes became.

Part of the obstacle course involved a slide that kids had to climb up to retrieve a flag. The middle of the slide was coated in whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and I believe semen. Whatever it was, it made the slide super-slippery; slippery to the point that if you tried to climb up the middle of it, you basically ruined any chances of advancing in the course because you were now covered in shit and would be stuck at that particular obstacle spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Kids eventually realized that if you climbed up the side and avoided all the crap, you were home free and the rest of the course was fairly easy. Any person paying attention realized this and yet there were still these morons that fucked it up and would get stuck winning next to nothing due to their lack of preparation (watching a few episodes to get a handle on the finer points). I used to scream at these imbeciles for their ignorance, knowing that if I weren't so apathetic and had actually gotten off my lazy ass and applied to be on the show, I would've totally kicked ass.

11 comments:

Skylers Dad said...

I have this mental image of your kicking some other contestant clear off the slide, hollering at them "Who's your daddy now!" and moving on to win.

Dick Small said...

The best Nickelodeon show "back in the day" was You Can't Do That On Television. Sorry, but that's just my opinion.

Dick Small said...

btw.... "who's your daddy now!"... hahaha

Chris said...

S.D.- No way. I'm a pacifist.

DS: I watched that religiously. Man, those wacky Canadians!

Splotchy said...

I remember this show fondly (well, the finale of the show I remember fondly).

I wish at the end of every workday I had to do that food obstacle course. It would be a nice thing to look forward to.

'Bubbles' said...

My kids watch that show. They laugh at the 'cool' prizes, like a pong game, or something. No more like a super dooper 286 computer.

To them that's the best part.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

On what evidence is this semen theory of yours based?

Pavel Chekov said...

The "Semen Slide" was invented by U.S. Senator Rick Santorum.

Dale said...

I feel slighted (slided?) that this was not a part of my childhood. I'm going to go hang out at the arcane.

Jacy said...

Love your profile shot.

Chris said...

Splotchy: I agree. Like you'd have to complete it in order to get your dinner.

Bubbles: It's still on!?

Cherry: Just a hunch.

Pavel: There's a feather in his cap!

Dale: Have pun!

Jacy: Thanks! I had it taken last week. Thanks for stopping by.