3/02/2007

If I Could...

If I could, I would...
  • vote someone who wasn't affiliated with any organized religion into office.
  • spend a substantial amount of time living in a grass hut on some remote island in the South Pacific.
  • try to catch Hannity and O'Reilly making out, film it, and broadcast it via YouTube.
  • learn to like mashed potatoes.
  • do nothing but carve fish decoys all day for a month or two.
  • go on a helicopter skiing trip in British Columbia.
  • ask Dick Cheney how we'll know when the "War On Terror" has been won.
  • kayak the length of the Mississippi River.
  • try hang gliding.
  • play raquetball with Marcia Brady.
  • get really good at playing an instrument, either the piano or trumpet.
  • get that damn dog that lives a block away to stop his infernal barking.
  • gather all my blog-pals together for a big, drunken party.

12 comments:

vikkitikkitavi said...

I understand the point of duck decoys, but not fish decoys. Do you throw them in the water to encourage other fish to gather around your line? That doesn't seem likely. Or are they not practical at all, but merely exist to remind us of all of the undeniable beauty of fish?

Melissa said...

Holy CRAP! I totally had the same thought re: blog buddies block party YESTERDAY! We should make it happen. Rent a house in the Poconos or something. One with a hot tub.

hapabukbuk said...

grass hut living sounds absolutely divine. if you figure out how to make it happen please let me know.

Megan said...

Helicopter skiing?

I'm totally down with the grass hut thing, though. As long as said hut has a shower.

genn6 said...

party? did someone say party? I'll bring the booze if you bring the Schmoo...

The Boob Lady said...

I would so be at that party. With sequined pasties.

The Dancing Bear said...

Can I come to the party? I haven't nuzzeled a pastie in a long time. I have been drunk before though, if helps me qualify.

Dale said...

You don't like mashed potatoes? You're with the terrorists now aren't you? Or is that me?

Dick Small said...

Yeah, I really like the sound of the last one. BIG time.

Big Orange said...

par-teee.

I'd like to get out of the country just once. I had a chance and blew it because I was too fuckin' dedicated to my previous school district. WHAT AN ASSHOLE THING TO DOOO!!

GETkristiLOVE said...

That's very insensitive to suggest raquetball with Marcia Brady - you know what happened the last time she played football.

Chris said...

Vikki- They're both.

Melissa- Good call!

Hapabukbuk- I'm working on it...

Megan- It's where a helicopter takes you to the tops of mountains unaccessible to most skiers.

Genn6- You better birng a lot. Us bloggers like our drinkies.

Boob Lady- I'd expect nothing less (or more, as the case may be).

Dancing Bear- Welcome! You qualify!

Dale- No, it's really me. It has brought shame to my family, believe me.

Dick- It'd be fun, right?

B.O.- Do you think they'll actually issue you a passport!?

Kristi- Good point. She better wear protective gear just in case.