3/15/2007

Commercial Critique...

As you all know by now, I watch a shitload of TV. Since I don't have a DVR, I also watch a shitload of commercials. As I write this, I am watching a "Seinfeld" rerun (George's "BOSCO" ATM password). There was just a commercial on for Propel Energy Water. You can watch it HERE if you like. It's the one labeled "Stress Monster". Basically, it's this giant, robotic-looking monster running through the streets of a major city, destroying everything in its path. Its made up out of a bunch of life's "pressures" (an angry boss, road construction signs, screaming kids, etc.). Playing in the background is "Under Pressure", by Queen. As the giant runs, parts of him start to break off and fall away until what's left is a healthy white male jogging. At the end he pauses to take a drink from his Propel water bottle, looking very satisfied.

Visually, the commercial is well done. It looks cool. Substance-wise, like most commercials, it's a lying piece of shit. Water will in no way alleviate the pressures in your life. It will not excuse you from making your mortgage payment. It will not stop your boss from breathing down your neck or get rid of that hammerhead driving up your tailpipe on the way to work. Face it, you put water in your mouth, you may have a temporary satisfaction as your thirst is relieved, then you piss it out. Anything else is just Madison Avenue blowing smoke up your ass. Sorry to destroy the illusion, but someone has to.

6 comments:

Skylers Dad said...

Oh thanks a hell of a lot! My world has been crushed now that I know that all commercials are not completely legit...

By the way, check out this site:
http://www.boardsmag.com/screeningroom/commercials/

It's a great way to suck more time out of your life as you check out all these different commercials, particularly the Euro ones that don't have all the nasty censors we have.

K.I.D. said...

You are so deep.

Anon. Blogger said...

Oh, SomeGuy...

Water is a little more than unprocessed piss when you live on the desert!!!!

The stress thing tho.... don't think so.

clare said...

I'd argue that the commercial is trying to say that running, not water, alleviates stress in your life. Which I have found to be true, as it's impossible to be stressed about anything else when you can't breathe and your legs hurt. However, the commercial is still bullshit because Propel has 10 calories, which isn't enough to contribute any energy to a workout, so it's basically flavored bottled water, and is therefore part of the vast corporate conspiracy to privatize water sources and commodify drinkable water, and don't even get me started on that. So yeah, total bullshit.

lulu said...

but it comes in Grape! I have never seen grape-flavored water before.

Big Orange said...

don't forget that 7-Up is now 100% natural!! Nevermind that the 2nd ingredient is "high fructose corn syrup" which does NOT exist in nature...

Then again, COAL DUST and RAT DROPPINGS are natural, too-- maybe we should put THOSE in our drinks, too??