Commercial Critique...

As you all know by now, I watch a shitload of TV. Since I don't have a DVR, I also watch a shitload of commercials. As I write this, I am watching a "Seinfeld" rerun (George's "BOSCO" ATM password). There was just a commercial on for Propel Energy Water. You can watch it HERE if you like. It's the one labeled "Stress Monster". Basically, it's this giant, robotic-looking monster running through the streets of a major city, destroying everything in its path. Its made up out of a bunch of life's "pressures" (an angry boss, road construction signs, screaming kids, etc.). Playing in the background is "Under Pressure", by Queen. As the giant runs, parts of him start to break off and fall away until what's left is a healthy white male jogging. At the end he pauses to take a drink from his Propel water bottle, looking very satisfied.

Visually, the commercial is well done. It looks cool. Substance-wise, like most commercials, it's a lying piece of shit. Water will in no way alleviate the pressures in your life. It will not excuse you from making your mortgage payment. It will not stop your boss from breathing down your neck or get rid of that hammerhead driving up your tailpipe on the way to work. Face it, you put water in your mouth, you may have a temporary satisfaction as your thirst is relieved, then you piss it out. Anything else is just Madison Avenue blowing smoke up your ass. Sorry to destroy the illusion, but someone has to.